Would You Like a Side of Cranky with That?

Ten things that are currently pissing me off (Pete initiated this trend today, and since I’m feeling cranky but simultaneously incapable of telling an actual beginning-middle-transitions-end story, I thought I would institute as a new, well, that M-word that I fucking think is stupid):

(1)               Ms. Whiny.  I don’t have another actual trial with her till October, but she’s bugging me about wanting fucking notebooks on a case so she can draft the answer.  Bitch, the documents are in the fucking computer.  And I know you know how to find them, because you take great delight in telling me all about what is and isn’t in the everfucking notebooks.  So find them, and shut the fuck up.  You’re not on top of my list right now. 

(2)             The weather.  I think the ice from last week almost has melted, just in time for it to rain and then freeze again this weekend.  My car does NOT LIKE inclement weather.  It is a fair-weather friend.  It’s low to the ground, and rear wheel drive, and the driver’s side window leaks when it rains.  However, it’s also close to being paid for, and so I’m telling myself it has personality and planning what I’ll do with the $500-ish a month I won’t have to pay to the bank after October.

(3)               My supervising paralegal.  She is usually cool, but I swear she’s not getting any or something lately, because for real, if she obsesses over one more fucking folder on one more closed file which is (all together now) in the motherfucking computer and is CLOSED AND OVER WITH ANYWAY I will surely scream and throw things.

(4)               My mail person, who doesn’t seem to understand the note on the mailbox that says “LEAVE PACKAGES IN HALLWAY.”

(5)               Lando’s douchebag boss, who can’t seem to retain an employee long enough for him to have a whole weekend off. 

(6)               The tights I bought from a certain national plus-size retailer which LOOKED like they were the same as the other four pairs I have at home and love, but ARE NOT THE FUCKING SAME.  Less spandex, or something, so they’re all baggy around the ankles and tight around the ass.  Grrr.

(7)               My cats, and I’m not sure which one, for throwing up on every single pair of my favorite shoes.  They were probably ALL in on it.

(8)               World of Warcraft, and its creators/administrators, Blizzard, who, despite much downtime and alleged improvements, STILL cannot manage to keep their game servers active and lag-free for longer than an hour at a time.

(9)               The fact that my boots which are the best in the snow are also the worst for walking any distance whatsoever.  They’re steel-toed workboots, which I bought on sale about 11 years ago and still look almost new.  But the steel part hits right where the seam on socks is (I’ve tried ALL my socks), and the blisters = not cool.  I miss flip-flops.

(10)          The fact that both BFRB and I are having some work-type scheduling issues which may make us unable to go to this year’s Bonnaroo.


Really, I could go on for a while, but unfortunately, I have to go deal with Mr. Snorty’s bullshit.  Super.


8 comments on “Would You Like a Side of Cranky with That?

  1. That happened to me and a pair of jeans at The Evil Empire. Silly me for not realizing that just because they look indentical and are the same size that that would mean the newer pair is a wee bit smaller than the older pair. Fuck you Faded Glory and White Stag.

  2. Loopy, this has nothing to do with what you wrote, but I thought of you the other day when I was at this Filipino nail salon. I picked up this magazine and there was like this 6-7 page photo spread of Bonnaroo. I wanted to snatch it up or rip the pages out while coughing but the damn Filippinos were watching me like a hawk (I do look suspicious). In other words, I wanted to GET IT FOR YOU. If you didn’t see it, it was the October issue of JANE magazine. Just thought you’d be interested. The photos were really awesome.

  3. I’m too fascinated by the pop-up thingy that displays when I rollover your links to be able to come up with anything other than a run-on sentence followed by the question “How do you make that work, that display thing????”…

  4. Have I expressed lately how much I love you and your rants? Mostly because then I don’t feel bad when I go on a rant, but also because your rants are so incredibly awesome.

    If you come here and kick my nanomanager’s ass, I’ll come there and smack a number of your co-workers upside their heads. I have a Mr. Snorty myself across the wall from me. I don’t wish to blow out my hearing but he grosses me out.

  5. Oooh, forgot to tell you that the Blister Band-aids made by Band-Aid (I think) kick total ass. I highly recommend them, just don’t try to take them off before they’re ready to come off. I made that mistake once…never again!

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