More things I should have Tweeted.

  • Ahh, the delicious irony of people with “AMERICA, FUCK YEAH” bumper stickers pasted on foreign cars.
  • Cars should just magically work without the need for such silliness as fuel pumps, power window motors, oil, gas, and rubber window seals.
  • When you call your fucking doctor’s office about something, they should call you the fuck back.
  • Cannot stop listening to “Cough Syrup” (Young the Giant) and “Little Red Wagon” (Audra Mae and the Almighty Sound).
  • I hate people. Especially lawyers.
  • Why do I see both wrinkles and enough oil to fuel a small country on my face AT THE SAME TIME?
  • Why don’t the micro Reese’s cups and/or micro Rolos come in economy size packages?

I have been feeling very like Professor Binns from Harry Potter lately…like I died a long time ago, but my body just keeps doing what it always did. This could be due to stress, lack of sleep, lack of vacation, lack of funds, or the fact that I got my 20-year high school reunion invite on Facebook and I feel like I have accomplished exactly nothing since high school.  At least people I like posted things like “I think I’ll skip the reunion and stay home playing Skyrim in my underwear, I’ll have more fun.” 

I have an appointment with a sleep specialist a week from today.  I am alternating between “please let him prescribe something that makes me go to sleep and doesn’t just make my feet swell up like water balloons” and “yay, there’s another $50 co-pay I don’t have for someone to confirm that yes, I’m fucked up, and no, they can’t really fix it.”

Come on powerball.  Then it won’t matter if I go to bed at 4 am.

 

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