I look awesome while I sit around my apartment.

Bored now.

I need a job. I should exercise, but about all I can afford is walking, and it’s too fucking hot. I already cleaned out my closet (I do need to take the donations to the donation bin…I keep forgetting to put them in the car. Maybe I should go do that. Maybe later, once the temperature drops a little). I have been coloring, a little (I bought some “grown up” coloring books with my birthday Amazon gift cards), but my wrists and hands hurt. I’ve been planning outfits to wear to job interviews. I’ve been playing with makeup. I’ve played nine million games of mahjong. There’s nothing on TV, and my attention span is lacking when it comes to books. I don’t know what my problem is – I’ve always been able to escape reality by reading. But it’s like I pick up a book and then read two chapters and then start stressing out about finding a job and then it’s back to the remote and the mahjong and the attention deficit internet surfing.

So. In order to un-bored myself for now, I’ll review some of the beauty products I bought before I lost my stupid job. (It seems like a lot of them, but some were with birthday gift cards and some were also on major sale and OKAY maybe I went a little overboard. Also, you can buy Sephora stuff from Amazon, which is helpful if you get gift cards, but if you buy direct from Sephora, you get free samples of cool stuff and if you order from Amazon you don’t. Additionally, both Sephora and Ulta have awesome return policies…if you hate something, you take it back, they give you a refund or exchange your stuff, they give you exactly no shit about it.)

1. Sephora “Tricks of the Trade” Anti-Shine Primer.

For five bucks, it’s not a bad deal, but it sure as shit does not last 8 hours like the description claims. Maybe it lasts 8 hours if you’re sitting still in a refrigerator, but in heat/humidity with an oily complexion…hahahaha no. Does seem to make the foundation go on more easily.

2. Urban Decay 24/7 Eyeliner Pencil Sets.

Ya’ll, these are usually $19 for one pencil. Granted, these are not full size pencils – I think they’re about 2/3 size – but it’s still a really good deal. Yes, I bought both sets. Shut up. Woodstock is my current love. I’m fond of Stray Dog and Underground for professional settings. The other colors are decent, too. This stuff stays on pretty well, even without primer, even through crying jags, even if your skin produces enough oil to fuel a small country.

3. Urban Decay 24/7 Liquid Liner.

I bought this one in Woodstock…it seems to be slightly more sparkly and a slightly different shade than the pencil. This shit REALLY stays on. It does take a little longer to dry than most liquid liner. Also, it kinda feels like it tightens up your eyelid a little when you first put it on. However, it comes off easily with eye makeup remover. If I could afford it, I would own all the colors.

4. Urban Decay De-Slick Makeup Setting Spray.

I got the trial size of this as a free sample, and holy shit. It’s like Aqua-Net for your face. This does GREATLY reduce the shine factor and makes the makeup stay on your face even when it’s hot and nasty and you have to walk through a zillion blocks of construction to get to the stupid interview for the job that turns out to be not what you’re looking for at all. It’ll last a while, too, I think – you only need like 2 squirts. As a lifelong sufferer of the oily skin, I’ve tried a lot of things that promise to make me shine-free (starting, as a teenager, with the makeup line of that name…remember that stuff?), and none of them actually did. This doesn’t make me totally shine-less, but it does more than anything else I’ve tried.

5. Sephora Collection Long Lasting 12 Hour Eyeliner.

Actually, this stuff isn’t bad. Really does seem to stay on…not quite Urban Decay, but close. I have the Fancy Blue and the Fancy Violet. The blue is really, really bright. I think I had mascara that color in 8th grade. I like it anyway.

Bad lighting. But it does show how bright this shit is.

6. Sephora Collection Moonshadow Baked Palette-In the Heat.

I also have this in “In the Nude.” The shadows have a nice texture, go on smoothly, have some sparkle, and seem to stay on fairly well. There is a little overlap between the two palettes – the colors aren’t identical, but four of the shades from the “In the Heat” palette are very similar to the “In the Nude” palette. The compact is nice and heavyweight, and comes with a good mirror. That’s not really useful to me, because I think the last time I carried eyeshadow in my purse was…probably in 9th grade, but some people carry more than just lipstick around with them. It’s a little pricey, but not as pricey as the similar products from other lines.

7. Sephora Collection Cream Lip Stain.

I tried this on in-store, and it seemed ok, so I bought it. After about an hour, it felt like an old sweater…like it was pilling up on my lips. The color stayed on, but it felt nasty. I’ve experimented at home, and what seems to work best is to apply, blot, and then apply a shimmery gloss over it, and blot again. Then it doesn’t feel like yuck but still stays on pretty well. The beige is actually a very neutral brownish-beige, which I like – all the other nude lipsticks I’ve sampled are either (a) too light or (b) too pink. The red one is really a nice clear red (that’s what I tried in store), but I have a whole selection of red lipsticks that I need to finish off before I buy more of them. (I clearly do not apply this rule to eyeliner.)

8. Revlon ColorBurst Lip Gloss.

I usually hate lip gloss, mostly because it’s sticky – it’s windy here in the flyover states, and my hair blows into the lip gloss and then my hair is sticking to my MOUTH and it won’t come off and it makes me feel like I walked into a spiderweb. I really have no idea why I bought this, except that it was all shiny and pretty in the tube and was on sale half price. However, layered over the above-referenced lip stain AND BLOTTED, it’s pretty, and doesn’t make me paw at my face like I’m on a bad acid trip when the wind blows.

9. Marc Jacobs Daisy Eau So Fresh.

I can’t really decide if I like this. I don’t think I do. It’s supposed to be a light floral, but I don’t think it’s that light…but maybe that’s just me. I think it smells a little cheap-ish.

10. The Body Shop Tea Tree Skin Clearing Toner.

Best. Thing. Ever. I actually started using this around Thanksgiving, and I’ve only had like 2 big zits since then. That’s a miracle. It’s amazing. If you have oil and/or zit issues, this will be your new best friend.

11. Real Techniques Powder Brush (also Blush Brush).

I went to Ulta one day and fondled all the makeup brushes, since Zooey (my sweet, stupid little kitty) had pretty much abducted and licked most of mine and I needed new ones. These were reasonably priced, and they’re nice and soft and the handles are a good length and width.

12. Lee Stafford Beach Babe Sea Salt Spray.

This shit is so nasty. It smells like Old Spice that’s gone bad, and it doesn’t do anything. I actually returned it, which I am usually way too lazy to do. The SMELL. *barf*

13. Ulta Eye Shadow.

Easier to apply than the drugstore brands (I mostly used Rimmel and Almay), good selection of colors, and right now, they’re on major sale. I have Au Naturel, Camel, Going Green, and Cherry Bomb. The first two are excellent matte neutrals for when I don’t feel sparkly (or when I’m busting out the crazy bright eyeliner). The colors are more intense, but can be blended easily for when you’d rather not look like it’s 1985. Cherry Bomb is very similar to the Urban Decay “Woodstock” color.

14. Sephora Collection Flashy Liner.

Similar to Urban Decay, but way cheaper. The Flashy Brown is my go-to daily neutral. The Flashy Blue is really pretty. The Flashy Moss is a little too dark for me, but it’s a nice deep olive green. The Flashy Silver sucks monkey balls. It’s more white than silver and it doesn’t go on evenly. It doesn’t stay on as well as the Urban Decay stuff, and it’s not available in as many colors. However, this is what started my recent eyeliner obsession.

15. Bare Minerals Matte Foundation.

Matte all day my ass. It’s the same as the other Bare Minerals foundation (which I tried in the past). Also, whatever shade you think you should buy, go a shade lighter. I don’t think this is any better than the drugstore brands…it’s almost identical to the L’Oreal kind.

16. Cabboodles Counter Organizer.

I’m not sure this is the exact one I have, but it’s pretty similar. After I started buying some more makeup, the little basket on the counter was no longer adequate. So I decided I needed something a little more…organize-y. It fits perfectly on the bathroom counter (there’s not much space), and helps me find things like the eyeliner sharpener and the eyeshadow brush and the other random little shit that always got lost in my other basket.

I believe that covers all of the random cosmetic products I’ve purchased lately. I was *trying* to take pictures of some of the eyeliner on my actual eyes, but I suck at self-portraits. Also, there is not one location in this apartment with decent lighting. I tried flash on, flash off, automatic everything, manual things, and all that I managed to document were (a) dark circles and (b) all of the little eyebrow hairs that need to be waxed off. (I plucked a couple. But they need some professional help. My mother swore to me that if I kept yanking them out they would stop growing back but she LIED. I’ve been waxing the Grandpa Unibrow of Death since I was 18 and it NEVER STOPS GROWING. The hairs are slightly finer, but I really think there are way more of them. They are going to take over my face someday.) (EDIT-I did manage to get one photo. It looks like one of those UV cameras that show how bad you got sunburned as a kid, but you can see the eyeliner, I think.)


One comment on “I look awesome while I sit around my apartment.

  1. I’m finally catching up with some of your posts! Great collection of goodies! I LOVE the UD pencils, De-slick spray, and Body Shop Tea Tree Toner. I use the Body Shop Seaweed line too and it has been wonderful. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s