Time Gone By…

So.  I’m really convinced that the day after new years is the longest, most painful day of the year.  I kept looking at the clock all afternoon and wondering how the hell it wasn’t time to go home and then thinking about how there’s not another 3-day weekend until Memorial Day and oh god kill me now.

PS I’m cranky because I didn’t get enough sleep as usual and I’m going to have to explain to my doctor why I need my ambien refilled early again because seriously?  All this holiday crap has messed up my schedule and it’s taking a little extra to get there.  The nurse keeps telling me to quit doing that, but what the hell else am I supposed to do at 2 in the morning?   Stay awake? 

Ugh.

Anyway, I realize it’s Wednesday and not Monday, but better late than never, right?  (I should have that engraved on my tombstone.)  So.  Friend-Making WEDNESDAY, courtesy of ;All the Weigh; via Divine Diva.

1. Share one thing that you plan to do for yourself in 2013.
Find a fucking antidepressant that actually works.

2. Share a good habit that you will continue doing into the new year.
Drinking lots of water. It’s about the only good habit I actually have.

3. Do you make new year’s resolutions? If so, do you typically stick to them?
No, unless you count sarcastic ones like “keep smoking” and “eat more chocolate.”

4. Do you have any health goals for the new year?
I would like to get back to some sort of exercise. I’ll probably wait till February, when all of the new-years-resolution people quit going to the gym.

5. Share one thing that you plan to do in January.
Finish reading the Game of Thrones novels. I just started book 3. I started 1 on NYE, and finished 2 yesterday. (I read fast. It’s a lot easier to be stealthy about it with an e-reader…for some reason, people get all weird about it. I didn’t specifically set out to learn to read fast…it’s just how my brain is wired.)

6. Do you have any travel plans for the coming year? If so, where are you most excited to go?
No, but I’d like to have them. Specifically, I would like to go somewhere on a vacation that does not involve anyone’s family members.

7. What are your plans for New Year’s Eve?
I was reading.

8. What are your resolutions for 2013?
Keep smoking. Eat more chocolate.

9. What are you looking forward to most over the next 12 months?
I really don’t know right now. I’m in a bad place, emotionally. I’m depressed, and tired, and my sleeping schedule is all fucked up, and I just want to go hide somewhere away from everyone for a while. I hope that at some point in the next few months, I will not feel like this.

10. Share something unique that you hope to do in 2013.
Maybe get a tattoo. Maybe poke some more holes in my ears. Maybe dye some turquoise streaks in my hair. Maybe get some botox (there’s just this giant WRINKLE right between my eyes and it’s making me feel like I look old.)

Bonus picture of me in a silly impulse-purchased hat from Target. (You know, I never think I have a giant schnozz or crooked teeth until I see them in a photograph….)

Image

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4 comments on “Time Gone By…

  1. Yay, a pic of you! Love the hat! The purple looks great with your hair too.

    I hope you feel better soon too. I’ve been in and out of depressive states since July. Sometimes it is gone in hours, sometimes weeks….With Miss P passing away, I have been fighting it off as much as I can but sometimes I don’t have the energy. Anyway, I understand what it is like feeling that way. I send you hugs and hope it doesn’t stick around too much longer.

    • It’s really hard to fight it off when you have to say goodbye to your baby. I mean, yeah, we can usually predict it’s coming (my saga with my little Maggie, she of the marble-stealing, is very similar to yours with Miss P, right down to the holiday being the ending), but that doesn’t make it hurt less. I also have to really fight not to over-shop when I’m down…the hat is just the tip of the iceberg. Sigh.

  2. First of all, you’re really hard on yourself. I know this is going to sound absolutely nuts, and it probably is, but I’ve found one of the things that helps me is positive self-talk. It’s not a cure-all and it’s certainly not going to make everything good overnight, but the way we talk to ourselves impacts us, if even not on a level we’re aware of. It’s like bullying yourself, it doesn’t help anything. Dealing with depression isn’t a picnic, but if you’re fighting it with meds, why not fight it through other methods as well?
    I hope you’re feeling better, by the way. And, for the record, I like the picture of you (though admittedly it’s the second one I’ve seen, if you count the gravatar); your teeth are much straighter than mine are, hon 😉

  3. Pingback: Talk of Circadian Rhythms… | Loopier by the Minute

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