So, I started my new job last week. I am not going to make the mistake of saying that I like it or it’s the best job ever NO SERIOUSLY I MEAN IT THIS TIME GUYS HE’S NOT GOING TO HIT ME AGAIN, but so far, it seems to be going fairly well.
Nice quiet office. No asshole lawyers yelling back and forth at each other or yelling across the office at their staff because they cannot seem to figure out how that crazy newfangled intercom works.
Working with former boss, Mr. Music, who is much more chill than he was at previous job. Also, he appreciates me way more now after his stint with some stupid people. Example of chill: he asked me to make some revisions to a document. When I was done, I e-mailed and asked if he wanted me to print it or just e-mail it to him. His response: “Goddammit Kelly, I’m trying to watch Bieber videos in here.”
7.5 hour workday instead of 8+.
Immediate health & dental insurance, 401k after 90 days.
More money than it really should be for how little work it is.
Based on co-worker’s new hairdo, I can put colored streaks in my hair and no one will give a shit. Go go midlife crisis!
Visible ink also seems to be okay, which will come in handy if I decide to actually get a tattoo (I’m thinking about it.)
Many bars within walking distance, including one in our very own building.
Beer in fridge. Dr. Pepper in fridge. Hot Tamales in snack cabinet.
It’s still a law firm.
Less money than making at last job. Which means less online shopping. Lame.
I’m not sure how I feel about some of my new co-workers. They’re not mean, but I’m not really sure they’re “my people,” either.
I only have a cubicle, not an office…I’m used to having an office. Not that this matters. When I did have an office, people were in it all fucking day anyway, and if I shut the door, it was a sign that I had an attitude problem.
Parking garage kind of sucks…the spaces are small, and people in small-penis-mobiles (i.e. giant trucks) don’t seem to understand what “compact cars only” means.
Jesus fuck it’s hot in here. I need to go buy a fan. (Offices only have two temperatures: too hot and too cold. Of the two, I’d rather have the latter. Although maybe if more people started getting nakeder at work, the temperature might drop. I just don’t want to lead the revolution.)
My face has not gotten the memo about makeup every day being okay. I am working on a couple of giant honking zits, one of which is perilously close to the end of my nose. NO I WILL NOT DRIVE YOUR SLEIGH TONIGHT. (PS Dear Neutrogena, your “Clear Complexion Liquid Makeup” is not living up to its name at all. Maybe this is because I have bought into the whole “primer” hype/bullshit. Why do we suddenly need primer to go with everything? Isn’t foundation kind of supposed to be the, well, FOUNDATION for the rest of your makeup? Why do I need stuff that’s like the piers and stem walls of makeup? [I have been reading a lawsuit about improperly constructed stem walls. I guess they hold up the foundation or something.] Seriously. The foundation and eyeshadow and lipstick and mascara all have primers and this is doubling the time I have allotted to makeup. Bitches need coffee and time to surf the internet, damn.)
Not close enough to downtown to go to lunch with my downtown-working bitches.
Unrelated to work issues, I didn’t think I liked the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. But I think I was confusing them with Cibo Matto or someone all this time and they’re actually pretty good.
Also unrelated to work issues, the frosting from the Pioneer Woman’s chocolate sheet cake is also good on yellow cake out of a box.
Finally, what the fuck is up with the headphones with one short wire and one long wire? I like things to be symmetrical. There appears to be no good reason to have one wire longer, except for ease of getting the long one totally tangled up in my hair and/or necklace. They were probably designed by dudes who don’t have long hair and don’t realize what a pain in the ass it is when your hair gets all dreadlocked around your headphones. I wish it was at least adjustable, so those of us who crave symmetry and order can have it.
Song of the Day: “Pretty Girl from Michigan” – The Avett Brothers
Today’s Time Waster: Sad Cat Diary.
What I’m Craving: Key lime pie, now that someone in the office mentioned it.