Hungry Like the Wolf (FMM OK FINE IT’S TECHNICALLY FMW. FML.)

Yeah, okay, it’s Wednesday. I’ve been running behind schedule all week. Monday I was tired. Tuesday I had a flat tire and a doctor’s appointment. Today Lando got up early and messed up my bathroom routine a little. Not a lot, but I have things timed to the exact minute most of the time (unless there is a fashion emergency like mystery stains, leggings or tights that do not appear to be the marked size, broken necklace, etc.). Seriously. My morning routine is thus:

6:35 – Alarm goes off. I usually hit snooze at least once.
6:45 – get up. Give Amelia her snack. Eye drops. Plug Kindle into charger. Bathroom. Turn on coffeepot and computer. Smoke one cigarette.
7:00-7:25 – shower.
7:25-7:45 – Stir Miles and Zooey’s food, because god forbid there be an empty spot at the bottom of the bowl. Swear at the dishwasher when I realize my favorite coffee mug has some nasty crumbs inside even though it’s clean. Scrub crumbs from coffee mug. Make coffee. Drink coffee. Pet Miles because he’s very needy in the morning. Remove Zooey from computer keyboard twice.
7:45-8:05 – Pick outfit, put on makeup, brush teeth, get dressed, etc.
8:05-8:07 – Gather up stuff and leave for work. If I am in the car by 8:08, I usually am sitting down at my desk at 8:29.

Anyway, on to the Friend Makin’ Monday questions. If you decide to participate, please leave comments for me & for <a href=”http://www.alltheweigh.com”>Kenlie</a>, the hostess of FMM. Today’s questions are about food:

1. Do you make grocery lists?
Sort of…I don’t list every single thing I plan to buy, but if we’re out of something (especially things we don’t buy every time we go, like certain spices or light bulbs), I try to jot myself a note. I also make a list if I’m making a new recipe.

2. Do you have a routine when shopping in your favorite grocery store?
I usually hit up the dairy section, then the frozen stuff, then bread, produce/meat, and grab non-perishables as I go. I would probably do things in a different order, but the store layout of my usual grocery store is weird. If I go to Walmart instead, it’s the medicine/toiletry aisles, the pet aisle, then groceries, starting with dairy and ending up in produce/deli. (Dairy is at the back, produce & deli at the front.)

3. What is your favorite seasoning?
McCormick’s Fajita Seasoning. The kind in bottles, not the little packets.

4. What is the healthiest food in your fridge right now?
I think there’s some lettuce and apples in there.

5. What is the most unhealthy food in your fridge now?
In the actual fridge? Probably the bags of grated cheese. In the freezer? I think all that’s IN the freezer right now is ice cream and booze.

6. What is the most exotic produce you’ve ever had?
My Vietnamese friend was always feeding me weird fruit, but he would never tell me what it was. Come to think of it, that’s what he did with pretty much everything food-wise. He would either rattle off a name in Vietnamese or just refuse to tell me. It was all delicious, though.

7. Tell us about your favorite local restaurant.
Big Truck Tacos! Because come on, tacos. Really, though, it’s their queso that is the bomb. I have no idea what makes it different, but it’s seriously scoop it out of the container with your finger when you run out of chips good.

8. What kind of pasta do you prefer (regular, whole wheat, etc.?)
Regular angel hair pasta, although I also like rotini and tortellini. I also like rice noodles…mostly the thin ones.

9. If you could make one food calorie-free for an entire week, which food would you choose?
BUTTER. Think about it – it would make delicious baked goods contain less calories (butterscotch blondies**, I’m looking at you) (Pioneer Woman chocolate cake too); you could use it to make sauces for pasta and saute things and eat it on bread and and and.

10. If you had to choose would you rather give up french fries or chocolate?
French fries. I can deep fry other things to satisfy that craving, but there’s just no getting around the chocolate when you need it.

The recipe for the blondies:

2 cups flour (if you’re using real eggs, it needs about 2 1/4 cups)
2 ½ cups light brown sugar
10 tablespoons salted butter
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
3 eggs or 3/4 cup egg substitute

(This recipe was adapted from one on Cooking Light. I’m not really sure what was “light” about it, other than maybe the egg substitute.)

In a skillet or small saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. First it will bubble a little, then it will get kind of foamy looking, then it mostly clarifies and starts to brown. You want it about the color of the brown sugar. Take it off the heat and pour it into a little bowl. Let it cool for 10 minutes.

In the meantime, put the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, and salt into a bigger bowl, and mix them together.

Once the butter has cooled, add three beaten eggs (or the stupid egg substitute, but seriously, who uses that shit to BAKE?) to the butter, and stir together. Once they’re combined, pour this mixture over the dry ingredients and stir until combined (no over-mixing). The mixture kind of feels like bread dough at this point…or like chocolate chip cookie batter before you add the chips.
Spray a 9×13 pan with cooking spray. (I actually use a baker’s quarter-sheet pan, which is close, and it turned out better than it did in the 9×13 cake pan.) Spread the dough in the pan. Best strategy: put a glob in each corner and one in the middle and kind of flatten them out. The dough isn’t really “spreadable” like cake batter is.

My oven runs hot, so I cook mine at 325 for 24 minutes. The original directions said 350 for 30 minutes, but 30 minutes is too long, I think. Maybe 24-25.

Try to restrain yourself and let them cool before you cut them into squares….although they are delicious when they’re still warm and you can kind of mush them into new shapes.

I didn’t actually modify the original recipe much…I used real eggs, and salted butter (recipe says unsalted). The first time or two I made them, I just barely sprinkled any extra salt in the batter, but the last couple of times, I added the extra salt, and it really kicked them up a notch. Also, it does need more flour…otherwise, they’re a little greasy when they’re done.

These would probably be good with stuff mixed in them, but they’re also good on their own. I know some of you crazy kids will want to sully them with nuts or something. If you are mixing things in, probably leave out the extra flour.

Song of the Day: Brandi Carlile – “Cannonball”
Today’s Time Waster: <a href=”https://hpwishlist.warnerbros.com/contest”>Harry Potter contest.</a>
What I’m Craving: A Percocet. My back is killing me.

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