She is smiling alone.

I guess it’s been a while. Things have been kind of crazy. My 83-year-old gramma was not doing well, so I went to Michigan to visit her. Of course, the phone call from my mom sounded like it was the end, but by the time I got there, she was getting back in fighting form. She’s still not doing great, but she’s back to being an asshole to everyone, which for her means she’s feeling better. She’s driving my mom and my aunt nuts, and she’s being bitchy. The thing is, she has never been like that to me, ever. Gramma’s was my safe house. Some of my best childhood memories are from staying with her and my grampa. She let me do whatever I wanted, like stay up all night to watch Charles & Diana get married and eat ice cream for breakfast.

Seeing her was hard. Since she lives so far away, it’s been tough for me to get the time off work to go visit, and when I was unemployed, I didn’t really have the money. I knew she wasn’t well, but the weirdest thing was seeing her with her natural gray hair. Since I’ve been alive, her hair has always been a platinum blonde football helmet.

Anyway, the day I got on the plane, I had another stupid epidural steroid injection, which sadly, hasn’t helped. The doctor said Plan B is not necessarily surgery…there’s a procedure they can try where they basically implant little electrical contacts and wires and connect them to the nerves, and then implant a little device that you can control with a remote. The current is suppose to alleviate the pain. We’ll see. I’m really tired of dealing with this shit. The doctor did, of course, mention weight loss, but was cool about it…he acknowledged it would be hard to work out if you were in constant pain. I’ve been trying to eat a little better, but stress is a hungry, hungry hippo. She especially enjoys Russell Stover Coconut Cream Eggs and McDonald’s french fries, but occasionally wants something else, like nachos.

Oh and also, work got fucked up last week…I had gotten my friend a job there, and they fired her for what appears to be no reason. I think the decision may have been financially based, which worries me. I was also worried about my own job security, because I’ve had enough drama, and while by all reports everyone wants me around, still. The office manager assured me that no, no, everything’s fine, in fact you’re getting a raise….

Still do not trust them. I got a bonus right before I got shitcanned last February. Guess I’ll just wait and see what happens, but keep my eye open for anything that looks interesting. That’s about all I can do, really.

Enough rambling. Let’s move on:

It is time again for Friend Makin’ Monday. If you have a blog, I would like to invite you to answer the questions as well. Leave me a comment here, so I know you are playing. Then you can also leave a comment over at Losing Weight and Having Fun, so other folks can check out your answers as well. It is a fun way to connect to other bloggers.

1. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it?

I have a couple, and they’re both nightmares. In one, I am competing in an obstacle course, and the rules are much like those in the book “The Long Walk” by Stephen King (SPOILER ALERT)…if you drop out, you die. When I have this one, I’m usually under a LOT of stress, and the obstacle course gets more horrible night after night. Like the first night it might be swimming across a pool, by night #3 it’s swimming across a pool full of sharks. The second one is about school…I think high school. I’m in this giant, rambling school building comprised of almost every school building I’ve ever been in (since I competed in speech tournaments in high school adn college, this is a LOT of school buildings)–everything from crumbling, gothic looking brick to the 70’s and 80’s super-streamlined office-cubicle like hallways. I can’t remember my locker combination, I can’t find any of my classrooms, and when I do find them, it’s for a class I have forgotten to attend all semester.

2. What was the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten?

Hm. I’ve eaten octopus and squid, many kinds of seafood in a shell, eel, and alligator. I don’t know. I’ve pretty much sampled everything on a giant Chinese buffet. Does that count? (Hey, I’m picky.)

3. Can you comfortably eat in a restaurant by yourself? Go to movie?

Both. I don’t mind eating out alone as long as I have a book. Sometimes it’s very relaxing. I actually just did this last week. I was planning to meet some friends for some local activity, but they couldn’t meet till like 6:30 and I get off work at 5. So I went and had some delicious seafood and a $5 hurricane.

4. What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most?

I’m sure I’ll be destitute and alone, so there will be nothing to leave.

5. Would you rather…Go without television or fast food for the rest of your life?

TV (I mean, I can still watch movies, right?). Sometimes my hormones get hungry for french fries, and that shit stinks up the house. Also, what the hell else are you supposed to eat after a night out besides Taco Bell?

6. What was the best thing that happened to you this past week?

One of my BFF’s turned 50, and we went out to celebrate. She showed up trashed. Someone made the mistake of giving her a wand with a star and streamers, and she bonked everyone on the head with it all night. Even though the bar DJ was mostly lame (if you follow me on Twitter, I posted a few updates), the night out was fun.

7. List the food items you take at a salad bar.

Are we talking a Golden Corral salad bar, or just a puny old-school steakhouse one? Spinach (if available, or if not romaine lettuce), hard-boiled eggs, mushrooms, carrots, cheese, bacon bits, ranch dressing, and CROUTONS. Lots and lots of croutons.

8. If you were in the “Miss America” talent competition, what would your talent be? (Note: both guys & gals have to answer this question)

I would sing something totally cheesy like “Memory” from Cats. (Shit. I just realized I mentioned this song in my last post. Well, fuck it. I would say “Defying Gravity” but I can’t hit that note anymore. Maybe “You’ll Never Walk Alone” from Carousel, or “Goodnight My Someone” from The Music Man.)

9. What do you keep in the trunk of your car?

Oh god. There’s actually not much in mine right now except for the plastic protector things you’re supposed to use on the convertible if you leave the top down. But I don’t ever leave it down when it’s parked, so I’m debating tossing those fuckers. Otherwise, there are a few random things…maybe a broken umbrella, a stuffed triceratops, and a couple mostly empty bottles of car products (like transmission fluid and antifreeze). Fortunately, I just cleaned it out a few months ago. Before that, don’t even ask. I’ve had my car for 12 years. Things end up there.

10. How many rings before you answer the phone?

Not very many. If I plan to answer, it’s usually by the second ring (unless it’s buried in my purse and I don’t hear it). If I don’t, I just send it to voicemail. At work, if I get stuck with phone duty, I answer after the first ring. The phone ringing annoys the living FUCK out of me. I used to work in an office where I was supposed to be “backup” on phones, but the chick whose job it was didn’t answer till like the 3rd ring, which drove me insane. I ended up answering it a lot because it interrupted my work just as much to glare at her to answer the phone than it did to just answer it. Plus, at that job, it was for me a lot of the time, anyway, because my boss was never there and it was family law and those clients are the worst about calling all day. This is where I learned never, ever to answer the phone after 5 on a Friday, because it was never anything you could fix but they wanted to TALK about it for an hour.

Song of the Day: “A Beautiful Mess” – Jason Mraz
Today’s Time Waster: Classic album covers in Google street view.
What I’m Craving: Something fried.

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