. . . you get sprung?

So, even though it’s REALLY May, the Sartorial Medley crew hasn’t come up with a theme for May yet, so I’m going to pretend it’s still April. The theme was IS “spring has sprung.” I had to go to a baby shower on Saturday, which fortunately just consisted of the expecting mother exhorting us to drink more champagne because she can’t and opening a few presents. We skipped all the stupid “Ruining Candy for Everyone” and “You’ll Be Pregnant Next Even Though You Would Rather Drink Drano” games. Being that I had a new-ish dress from ASOS Curve in an almost-blue shade (she’s having a boy), I decided it was a good occasion to wear it. Also, my new-ish Crocs match.

Unfortunately, the weather in this godforsaken Bible-thumping Hell on Earth rarely cooperates for photo ops. The light in our apartment varies between those horrible energy-efficient bulbs, dark, and mostly dark, so outside really is better for pictures…except that it’s windy as fuck. Therefore, please to be ignoring my hair in the pictures. I spent most of them trying to keep it out of my eyes while simultaneously hoping my skirt didn’t blow up.

Also, this is why I will never be a successful fashion blogger. I am just not photogenic. My expression varies between Squinty Derp, Smug Derp, and Cheesy Derp.


...not quite what I was looking for.  Surely it will get better.

…not quite what I was looking for. Surely it will get better.

Let’s try again! Maybe a closer shot?

Smug. Or stoned.  Neither of which are accurate.

Smug. Or stoned. Neither of which are accurate.

Surely we’ll get a good image sometime, right?

Maybe if my hair wasn't being flung into my eyes at 40 mph.

Maybe if my hair wasn’t being flung into my eyes at 40 mph.


You can see (almost) that my eyeliner matches my dress...

You can see (almost) that my eyeliner matches my dress…

Keeping your eyes OPEN would be a plus, dork.

Wind makes me look like my head is a ratty dust mop.

Wind makes me look like my head is a ratty dust mop.

Last try.

At least the outfit shows.

At least the outfit shows.

Details of what I’m wearing:

Dress: ASOS Curve Flamingo Print Skater Dress
Shoes: Crocs Adrina in Aqua.
Necklace: Lane Bryant, forever ago.

Song of the Day: Ani DiFranco, “Evolve”
Today’s Time Waster: Game of Thrones, in song.
What I’m Craving: Ice cream. It was 96 here today. IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THAT SHIT.


Suddenly I’m Bright and Breezy (FMM)

Greetings and salutations.  It’s been a while.  I’ve composed about 9000 half-drafts of things, but I haven’t finished any of them.  Life has been a little shitty-ish lately.

So I’m just going to get right on with Friend-Makin’ Monday, sponsored by Kenlie at All the Weigh. If you drop by, please say hi. Also, if you decide to play, leave a link to your answers here & on Kenlie’s post. This week’s theme is:

Getting To Know Each Other

1. What is your favorite flower?
The white roses with the blood-red tips. Or any other multicolored rose.

2. What is a date on the calendar that you’re looking forward to?
September 11. I know, that’s fucked up, but I’m having a procedure done on my back that will likely alleviate the lower back agony that I have been dealing with for the last 6 weeks. Also September 14, because it’s the Cutest Niece in the World’s first birthday.

3. List at least five characteristics of your ideal mate.
Loyal, intelligent, honest, funny, independent.

4. What is your favorite travel destination?
Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama….

And now that your Monday earworm is planted, of the places I’ve been, my favorites are Disney World and the Oregon coast. But I want to go to a lot of other places.

5. What is your idea of the perfect date?
“I’d have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.”

6. What is your relationship with your family like?
Mostly good, but a little complicated. I think my parents would both like it if I visited and/or talked to them more often, but I have to keep a little distance or I end up turning into an over-involved basket case. There’s a reason my nearest relative is 473 miles away.

7. What time did you wake up this morning?
6:38 a.m. (My alarm is always set for some random time like this.)

8. What characteristic do you like most about yourself? Which do you dislike most?
Like: intelligence. Dislike: also intelligence. To me, it’s a double-edged sword. It makes me learn things quickly, but I also get bored with them quickly. And I tend to get frustrated easily with people who require 97 explanations of how to do something before they “get it.”

9. What is your favorite sport to watch?
None of the above. If I wanted to watch dudes play with each other’s balls, I’d go download some gay porn.

10. Share a few interesting things that you did over the weekend.
Uh, let’s see. Went to the eye doctor because I woke up Saturday and my eye looked all swollen. Turned out to be nothing major, but the eye doctor gave me some free sample antibiotic eyedrops. Wandered around the mall and bought a few things at the Body Shop and a custom box of See’s candy. (Mostly orange creams and butterscotch squares, because clearly those are the best ones.) Went to see “The World’s End,” which wasn’t bad, but wasn’t as good as Hot Fuzz or Shaun of the Dead.

Song of the Day: “I Don’t Care” – Icona Pop
Today’s Time Waster: Meetings suck enough without bad slides.
What I’m Craving: My eye infection to be over so I can stop wearing these idiot glasses. I tried to buy new ones, but none of the “one-hour glasses” shops stock lenses in my prescription, at least not the ones where I can actually see to drive. Aside from not being fond of this pair aesthetically, the prescription is off just enough to give me a headache. I can’t take Advil till after my back procedure on Wednesday (because it thins your blood and makes you bleed a lot).


I am smitten by the real thing (by the real thing)

While I like buying makeup as much as the next person, I have limited space to store it. Plus, I hate having to think first thing in the morning when I’m getting ready. I need to go through my “mostly rejected” basket and toss some things. I do have several kinds of foundation, mostly because my skin has been in a MOOD lately and nothing seems to be making it happy, except going without makeup, and I don’t like to do that in the summer because my skin is all oily and blotchy and my makeup has sunscreen. I always use the same blush, and despite what I like to believe, most of my lipsticks are almost the same corporate-goth-burgundy-ish color. (I have a few bright reds and a couple of more brownish ones, but yeah. I own at least half a dozen that are the burgundy lipstick version of Blush and Bashful.) But my real makeup vice is eyeliner. I just counted. I have 46. There are a few duplicates, since Urban Decay and Sephora have earned spots on my shit list for recently discontinuing my favorite colors and I stocked up a little (1999 and Flashy Brown, respectively), but most of them are not.

Behold, the rainbow of fruit flavors:

The only color I'm missing is yellow.

The only color I’m missing is yellow.

The reason I like eyeliners is because I can fit (almost) all of them into a cup that doesn’t take up a whole lot of space on our nowhere-near-adequate bathroom counter:

The counter is a mess, so I'm hand modeling.  Nail polish is OPI "Suzi Says Feng Shui."

The counter is a mess, so I’m hand modeling. Nail polish is OPI “Suzi Says Feng Shui.”

“Almost” because I have one gel and one from Lush that don’t really fit in the cup. Also, I just had to buy a bigger cup, but hey, that means I have room for a few more! These can be grouped into a few basic color categories, of course: browns, purples, blues, greens, and random.

Let’s start with the ones I wear the most often, though. They are: Urban Decay 1999, Sephora Flashy Brown, Stila Smudge Sticks in Turquoise, and Urban Decay Underground.

I might have an extra or two of 1999 and Flashy Brown.

I might have an extra or two of 1999 and Flashy Brown.

The Flashy Brown especially is a good neutral for me. I don’t even look right in black eyeliner. I just look kind of old and cheap and used up. It makes my eye color pop, but beyond that, the rest of my face is just like “UGH NO.” 1999 is very subtle, kind of a golden purple. The new color “Ether” is SIMILAR, but it’s more of a gray undertone rather than a gold one. The turquoise is really more green than I would consider turquoise to be, but it stays on like a dream and I love it. Sadly, it’s a limited edition. I may have to go buy another one shortly, because nothing else is that color and matte. I think I looked at all possible cheaper options before I allowed myself to go buy it. Urban Decay in Underground is a little more grayish and is also good for every day.

Next, we shall move on to the brown ones. Because I love you, I swatched all of these eyeliners on my freckled hands. Hopefully the pictures don’t suck as bad as I think they do. I am the worst photographer ever. Seriously. I’ve taken like 3 good pictures in my entire life. I think of my photography skills like that old saying about monkeys and typewriters and eventually accidentally coming up with “Hamlet.” Anyway, on to the browns!

The pencils.

The pencils.

L to R: UD Bourbon, UD Whiskey, Sephora Flashy Brown, UD Underground, UD Stray Dog, UD Lucky, Sephora Glitter Copper, Ulta Golden Eyes.

L to R: UD Bourbon, UD Whiskey, Sephora Flashy Brown, UD Underground, UD Stray Dog, UD Lucky, Sephora Glitter Copper, Ulta Golden Eyes.

“Lucky” is a new addition to my collection. The Urban Decay “Vintage” 24/7 pencils (meaning the colors they discontinued) are on sale on their website for half price. The Urban Decay liners are great. They go on smoothly without tugging, and they stay on fairly well. If you don’t wear primer and/or have oily skin and/or live somewhere it’s hot, they can melt a little by the end of the day. The Sephora brand liners are mostly good…they have discontinued the “Flashy” line, but still have the ones like the glitter one. They stay on well, also, but the glitter fucking migrates under my contacts, even with primer. The non-glitter ones of this type are fine.

Let’s get purple!

Purple is supposed to be a good color for those of us with brown/amber eyes.

Purple is supposed to be a good color for those of us with brown/amber eyes.

L to R: UD Crash, Rimmel Purple Passion, Almay Purple Amethyst, UD Ransom, Sephora Flashy Ultra Violet, Sephora Fancy Violet (liquid), UD 1999, NYX Lavender Shimmer.

L to R: UD Crash, Rimmel Purple Passion, Almay Purple Amethyst, UD Ransom, Sephora Flashy Ultra Violet, Sephora Fancy Violet (liquid), UD 1999, NYX Lavender Shimmer.

“Crash” is also new & I haven’t tried it yet. I like the lavender one, although I’m not 100% fond of the texture…it’s cheaper, and it goes on like it’s cheaper. Still, for the price, it’s not horrible. I’m not as fond of the bluish-purples…they’re okay sometimes, but I prefer the more true purple or the brownish/reddish purples.

Next, I’ve got the blues…

I wasn't really sure where the hell to classify the turquoise one.

I wasn’t really sure where the hell to classify the turquoise one.

L to R: Rimmel Light Blue, Rimmel Denim, L'Oreal Navy (Gel), Sephora Fancy Blue (Liquid), UD Radium; Lush Calm (Liquid), Sephora Flashy Blue; Sephora Teal, Stila Turquoise.

L to R: Rimmel Light Blue, Rimmel Denim, L’Oreal Navy (Gel), Sephora Fancy Blue (Liquid), UD Radium; Lush Calm (Liquid), Sephora Flashy Blue; Sephora Teal, Stila Turquoise.

The gel liner is a little easier than liquid if you’re a klutz like I am. It also dries faster. Still, I’m not 100% sold on the whole navy thing. I love the light blue, and the turquoise(s), and I want the UD pencil version of the bright blue because waiting for shit to dry is dumb.

Greens, also known as “these match way too much of my wardrobe”:

Some of these I debated about whether to call them green or blue.

Some of these I debated about whether to call them green or blue.

L to R: Rimmel Ivy; Sephora Flashy Moss; UD Junkie; Sephora Green; Sephora Pantone Color of the Year (Emerald) Set (there's another one around here somewhere too); CoverGirl Liquiline Blast  (I must have sharpened off the name.)

L to R: Rimmel Ivy; Sephora Flashy Moss; UD Junkie; Sephora Green; Sephora Pantone Color of the Year (Emerald) Set (there’s another one around here somewhere too); CoverGirl Liquiline Blast (I must have sharpened off the name.)

The “Color of the Year” ones irritated my eyes a little, and they are hard to get off with makeup remover or soap but feed on your allergic reaction tears. Really, the glitter one was the worst. The matte version is what I was wearing in my May Sartorial Medley post. The darker greens I don’t wear so much, but I like the lime green CoverGirl one. It’s pretty decent quality, as well…softer than the Rimmel pencils.

AND FINALLY, the last batch, which are metallic neutrals, bright colors, and my lone black eyeliner:

You really didn't think I'd be able to take all these pictures without a cat photobomb, right?

You really didn’t think I’d be able to take all these pictures without a cat photobomb, right?

Minus the Amelia snout.

Minus the Amelia snout.

Top to Bottom:  Sephora Flashy Black; Sephora Flashy Gunmetal (it only came in a set); NYX Extreme Silver (Liquid); Ulta Starlet; Sephora Flashy Silver; UD Woodstock (Liquid); UD Woodstock (Pencil); Sephora Color of the Year from last year aka Orange.

Top to Bottom: Sephora Flashy Black; Sephora Flashy Gunmetal (it only came in a set); NYX Extreme Silver (Liquid); Ulta Starlet; Sephora Flashy Silver; UD Woodstock (Liquid); UD Woodstock (Pencil); Sephora Color of the Year from last year aka Orange.

Whew. Woodstock I love, even though I’m not really into pink for clothing. I love the gunmetal color and wish it was permanent, but I think there is a similar Urban Decay color. The Sephora Flashy Silver is the only one from that line I hated…it goes on streaky, the tip breaks off about four times on each eye because it’s too soft, and it doesn’t stay put. However, it’s ok for the occasional highlight, so I kept it (also maybe because I am a packrat).

This post has taken more effort than I put forth at work all day today. Today was one of those “type a few letters, go take a long lunch for someone’s birthday, type a few revisions, rejoice when they let you leave early” days.

Song of the Day: REM – “Crush with Eyeliner”
Today’s Time Waster: Frosting is important, like gravy.
What I’m Craving: Sleep for the love of god. I think I figured out the problem, though. I thought my multivitamins were just the women’s kind with more iron and calcium and shit, but it turns out, they’re the “metabolism boosting” ones that have a metric ass ton of caffeine in them. Must remember “no green bottles” next time.

Turn it up to eleven.

Being that my birthday is on or around Mother’s Day, I’m fairly used to not getting much in the way of an actual birthday celebration on my actual birthday. If it’s not Mother’s Day, it’s someone’s graduation. This year was no exception. Lando’s mom decided that she wanted to go out to dinner. I got a half-assed “happy birthday.” Oh well. It’s not like I really want to draw attention to the fact that I am perilously close to the big 4-0 (that would be next year). However, I did at least decide I would look cute.

My outfit is also my contribution to this month’s Sartorial Medley, a monthly fashion challenge hosted by Hailey of Divine Mrs. Diva and Ais of Couture for Curves. This month’s theme is “Bold Colors,” and I thought my newest acquisition from eshakti fit the bill nicely:













And this last picture, of me making jazz hands, is because Lando always asks if I’m going to “pose” when he takes an outfit picture:

MayDress2 (JazzHands)











I am in love with the retro print. I paired the dress with a necklace from a local “$1 Jewelry” store and nude sandals (these, in beige). I really, really want some green sandals to go with this, but I have not yet found the perfect pair. I found some at Target that would have worked, but they were kind of narrow and I decided that looking cute does not require epic blisters.

Despite getting my actual day ganked, I did get some fun presents. Chief among those is a Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer, in cobalt blue:


I have been baking. I have made the Pioneer Woman’s Best Chocolate Sheet Cake Ever twice, and I might make some more tomorrow. It’s perfect. Every time. The perfect amount of sweet, the perfect amount of chocolatey, the perfect cake-to-frosting ratio. I don’t use nuts in the frosting, because I don’t like them. About my only exception to the nuts rule involves white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, and maybe a sprinkle of peanuts on Pad Thai. Otherwise, nuts are just a way to ruin perfectly good cakes/cookies/pasta/bread/candy.








I’ve also made bread a couple of times. The mixer came with a little instruction manual/cookbook, and my first attempt was plain white bread. Despite not knowing what the fuck the instructions considered “slightly sticky,” the bread turned out very well. Lando and I pretty much scarfed the first loaf down with butter before the oven cooled. Next, I tried rye bread, which I don’t like but he does, and I figured I would be nice. I used this recipe, and it turned out well also. (It did seem like it needed about 1/4 to 1/2 cup more all-purpose flour than the recipe stated…it was gluey rather than “slightly sticky.” Right now, these two loaves of cinnamon bread are in the oven:










One of them is perfectly shaped, and the other one is lumpy and misshapen. That’s pretty much what happened with the first batch, too. Of course, I don’t actually own a rolling pin, so I kind of had to roll it out using a cup turned on its side and a little creative hand-flattening. Maybe a rolling pin would help with a little more uniformity. So would learning to divide dough in half equally. Sigh.

Song of the Day: “I Only Want to Be With You” – Dusty Springfield
Today’s Time Waster: I got nothing today. I’ve been watching news coverage of the tornadoes that hit yesterday just south of here. Luckily, all my peeps are ok and still have houses.
What I’m Craving: More chocolate cake.

Be Sure to Wear Some Flowers in Your Hair

Over the weekend, I was bored. So I decided it was time for a project. As I’ve said before, I am not really very “crafty.” I think it’s a combination of frustration and impatience, coupled with the fact that I cannot make my hands do what I see in my head. However, the one arts-and-crafts type thing that I can do…is tie-dye. I wanted to make some tie-dye things for the niece, because no baby should ever be free of hippie awesomeness. Granted, the child needs clothes like she needs a hole in the head…Lando’s mom has pretty much purchased/found enough clothes to last her till kindergarten…but she shouldn’t get to have all the fun.

Lando makes fun of my hippie tendencies, but he always wants in on the tie-dye action. Because baby clothes don’t take up nearly all the dye, we also each dyed a shirt.

The last time I dyed things, the dye didn’t hold nearly as well as I wanted it to. I use a kit similar to this. (This brand, but I couldn’t find the colors I used.) It says one step, but that’s kind of bullshit. If you don’t pre-treat the fabric, the colors are not nearly so vibrant as they appear in that picture once they have been rinsed and washed. Therefore, this time, I presoaked the garments with soda ash, a/k/a washing soda. (It was on the laundry aisle near the fabric softener…it comes in a box like baking soda, only it’s stronger.) I used a sink full of water and about 1/3 cup of washing soda, and let the stuff soak for about half an hour.

This was Lando’s shirt:










These were the baby ones (Lando did the blue & purple one in the bottom corner). I was really happy with how the skirt turned out. I was a little worried about it, because it wasn’t 100% cotton…it’s a cotton/poly/spandex blend. In order for the dye to be vivid, you really need to use natural fabrics. The skirt was more cotton than otherwise, so we took a chance.













And this is mine, which is also this month’s contribution to Sartorial Medley, the monthly fashion challenge hosted by Hailey and Ais. The theme this month was “skirts.” If you want to participate, e-mail your link and picture to Hailey – divinemrsdiva at gmail dot com.













Being that we actually had a nice day, I decided it was time to mow the winter growth on my legs and wear something short. The skirt is actually a skort…it has shorts underneath. I got it last summer at Catherine’s on clearance, and I think they have some similar items at Lane Bryant and Catherine’s this summer. I love it, because it’s comfy and it looks cute, but you don’t worry about flashing people. The t-shirt was a plain white Just My Size t-shirt from Walmart in a 5x…they have changed those shirts so much over the years. I have a couple that I have seriously had for at least 10 years, and they’re a 4x. They fit perfectly, they’re a good length, and while they’re a little worn, they’re still fine for wearing around the house. The newer versions shrink insanely bad when you wash them, especially lengthwise. But, for $5.97, they’re okay. The shoes are Sanuk Yoga Mat Flip-Flops. Because I was worried about width, I ordered them in an 11, but I may order a new pair for this summer in a 10. They did stretch a little, and the soles are not as slick as some of the cheaper flip-flops. They’re nice and squishy and comfortable, and they come in a billion colors.

Song of the Day: Radiohead – “Creep”
Today’s Time Waster: Read the reviews.
What I’m Craving: A limeade.

Green, Green the Musical Fruit?


April Fool. Seriously, if I won the Powerball, I wouldn’t be blogging about it, I would be shopping for a vacation home and decorating it instead of clogging up everyone’s Pinterest with pictures of shit I want to buy. So if you follow me on Pinterest, sorry, I sort of finally figured that out in the last few hours.

It’s funny how blogging and social media have evolved. When I started blogging in 2004, everyone was on things like Diaryland (which I still miss, and would still use if it didn’t cost so much money for shit you get on other platforms for free) or LiveJournal or Xanga, MySpace was still sort of relevant, no one really used Facebook, and Twitter, Tumblr, and Pinterest were not even around. To me, the advent of the new is sort of double-edged. There are a lot of bloggers that I still keep up with from back in the day, but a lot of them don’t really blog anymore…they Tweet, and Pin, and Tumble occasionally, but it’s not the same get-to-know-you that it used to be. I mean, I am not the best about keeping up with the blogging, so I totally get it. But still, when I go look for stuff to read on the internet, it’s sad that there isn’t the same level of personal story that there used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve “met” some awesome new people too, but it’s just…different.

Yesterday was Easter, and we spent it with Lando’s sister, brother-in-law, dad, stepmother, and uncle, along with our totally cuteface little niece. I was hoping for some Facebook pics I could gank, but none yet. However, she’s seriously the cutest baby ever. I feel about kids the way I do about dogs…they’re adorable, and I like to play with them, but I don’t want to own one. Lando & I have no desire to reproduce. So we have decided that it’s perfectly ok to spoil the niece rotten. She’s about 6 months old now, but I can’t wait till she’s a little older. While she was playing, she demonstrated a love for things where you could push buttons and make music play. Therefore, I think she needs one of these. I’ll probably buy her one for her birthday.

A picture of her being suspicious of the Easter Bunny, which I think is totally justified:












Anyway. On to the actual purpose of this entry, which is a belated contribution to “Sartorial Medley,” the monthly fashion challenge hosted by Hailey and Ais. This month’s theme was “green,” which, as a ginger, I can totally get behind.

This weekend, I actually had occasion to leave the house to go somewhere besides Wal-Mart, so I broke out a dress from eShakti. (They don’t have this particular style at the moment.) My experiences with them have been somewhat mixed. For the most part, positive, but their customer service was REALLY slow to address a problem (namely, that one dress I ordered from them got lost in transit). However, they did finally issue a refund, so I decided to take a chance and order from them again. Honestly, no one else does what they do….they offer sizes from 0 to 36, and they also offer custom sizing (which isn’t foolproof); they have retro styles and offer a lot of natural fabrics; and they offer the option to “tweak” clothes to suit you. For example, the dress I’m wearing below originally came with cap sleeves and was supposed to be longer. I went for short sleeves and a knee-length hem. Not all styles can be customized, but a lot of them can.

This batch (I also ordered a top), I decided to go with off-the-rack rather than custom sizing, and based on my measurements, I ordered a 30. (I’m generally a 26/28 at places like LB or Old Navy). I had ordered another dress in this size in the past, and it fit well, so I thought I’d be good to go. The fit isn’t BAD, but it feels like the stuff I ordered is a little on the short side. Also, I think if I ordered something that didn’t have stretch, I’d probably size up. This dress is a knit, so it has a little give. My order this time shipped and arrived super fast, so that was a plus.

On to the outfit (sorry I’m all squinty, it was bright outside). Dress from eShakti; necklace from LB; tights from Catherine’s; shoes are LifeStride. I wanted to wear this with sandals, but it was a little chilly this morning and well, I didn’t shave my legs or paint my toes.












Hope everyone had a happy Easter and/or is looking forward to hitting up the 75% off Peeps this week (*raises hand*).

Song of the Day: Tommy Tutone – “867-5309/Jenny” (Sorry. But the 80’s music channel is on, and it got stuck in my head.)
Today’s Time Waster: All Easter Bunnies are creepy as shit.
What I’m Craving: MARSHMALLOW PEEPS BUNNIES. The yellow ones. Yes, they do too taste different.

Chasing her way through the constellations.

I continue to love some Gwynnie Bee.  Everything arrives packaged perfectly, and the turnaround time is super fast.  In my second shipment, I received the Harlow Dress in Jade, the Alma Top (not this pattern – the purple leopard print, which is evidently sold out), and the Asos Galaxy Wrap (also reviewed by Hailey, here. I have not worn the Harlow dress yet…I haven’t felt like getting that dressed up, heh.  The color in person is way closer to a bright teal…it has a lot more blue and it is a lot brighter than the picture.  The Alma top I already reviewed…I didn’t get a picture of the other pattern, but it fit identically.  Finally, the Galaxy Wrap.

I was drawn to the top because of the gorgeous colors.  They were not quite as vibrant in person as I expected, but they were still beautiful.  Since they weren’t super bright, though, i had to abandon my original plan of pairing the top with a black pencil skirt and some purple tights…my tights were way too obnoxious.  I ended up wearing it with a pair of lighter wash bootcut jeans and some black flats.


Top – Asos Curve, US 22 (their sizes are pretty generous…I think the last time my ass fit anywhere near a 22 was during my diet and workout phase.  That said, I would probably go a size up if one was available, which it is not).

Jeans – Old Navy, 26 (I have no idea how long ago…at least 5 years).

Flats – LifeStride Devlin, 11 (they’re a little long, but they didn’t have a 10)

Turtleneck is from Walmart, the necklace I bought on clearance at LB.  Hair is pissing me right the hell off right now, because I’m trying to grow it out and it’s in stage poofy.  I did at least get it colored and trimmed.  My hairstylist suggested a flat iron, which is not going to happen. I wash my hair in the mornings, because I feel gross if I don’t. It takes a billion years to dry, even with my pimp-ass expensive hair dryer. So her “well, you can just do it really fast on the top layer” routine would take half an hour, in which I would rather be sleeping, drinking coffee, or buying more shit on Amazon that I can’t afford. She did flat-iron it, and it did look cute:


I mean, the lack of makeup and the flannel aren’t cute, but hey. I was getting my hair colored, so um, I didn’t want to get hair dye on my good clothes! (Either that or I totally rolled out of bed and maybe put on jeans instead of pajama pants and thought that was more than adequate.) (Also the stupid picture is, despite my best efforts, sideways. Sigh.)

Where was I? Oh yes.  Reviewing the shirt.  I love the colors, but I wasn’t totally fond of the cut.  It’s hard to tell in the picture, but there’s a lot of weird bubbly pleating at the hem…I felt like my ass had wings.  Also, I wanted the belt to be wider.  However, I’m glad I tried this out, and I wish that I had a scarf in this print.

I also stepped out of my comfort zone a little and ordered a top from Kiyonna that I wasn’t sure I would like…the Sadie Ruched Top.  (I got it in black, 4x).  It’s a little more fitted around the middle than I would ordinarily choose.  However, I thought a more fitted top might look better with a couple of my skirts, so I decided to give it a chance.  I’m really, really glad I did.  I LOVE IT.  So soft, so comfy, such cute little ruching on the sleeves.  My only beef is that, like most of Kiyonna’s tops on me, it’s a smidge low-cut for office wear.  I wore a cami under it, just to be sure I wasn’t flashing the goodies at anyone.  The skirt is from Lane Bryant, on clearance last summer for like $10.  I have the same skirt in a black-and-white floral and in solid black, as well:


Of course, the picture where the outfit is the clearest is the one where I was making stupid faces at my co-worker…

That will conclude this evening’s entertainment.  I need to log on to World of Warcraft and take a stab at the holiday boss so I can once again not be the owner of a Big Love Rocket:








….which takes us right back to the post title.  I AM AWESOME.  Heh.

Song of the Day:  “I Was Too Busy” – Doug Stone (don’t hate. Sometimes I need me a cheesy country song.)

Today’s Time Waster:   World of Warcraft. (hit me up for a referral if you want to play)

What I’m Craving:  The rest of the box of Little Debbie Chocolate Chip Snacky Cakes.

Bee-p Bee-p Bee-p Bee-p YEAH (Also, FMM)

So, this weekend was mostly boring.  We did go to dinner Saturday for Lando’s sister’s birthday, and while the company was fine, the food was just meh.  It was “urban barbecue,” which I think means “we serve it on real plates, ya’ll.”  It was kind of cold in the restaurant, and that, coupled with the size of the group, meant our food was not at optimal temperature.  For me, this means “almost too hot to eat.”  I would post a pic of my outfit, but (a) it was just jeans and a shirt and (b) I totally didn’t think about taking one.

On to today’s blatherings!  First, a review of Gwynnie Bee.  I got my first package over the weekend.  Let me begin my review by saying that everything was BEAUTIFULLY packaged.  It was in a plastic bag inside the box, and each garment was wrapped in tissue and had a cute little sticker.  The garments all had a safety-pinned care tag & comment card – the pins were all on the tags of the garments and/or pinned AROUND the tags.  There was also an introductory card, a handwritten welcome note from Dina, and three return bags.  Basically, they thought of everything, and I got it within 4 days of placing my order!  I’m so glad I decided to try it out.

This package had the Luna from Kiyonna, this dress by Cha Cha Vente, and the Alma top from Igigi. Of the three, I decided only to wear the Alma.

The Luna? Beautiful, but I was so afraid of snagging it on something, and I didn’t really have anywhere to wear it.  The purple is so pretty in person.  Also, I wasn’t 100% on the fit…the sleeves were a little snuggish (they didn’t look bad, but I would have been fidgeting) and I wanted the under-bust seam to be just a smidge lower.  The middle and skirt fit really well.  I could have done it with a cardigan for work, but I decided to send it back in favor of some of the other things on my agenda.  The Cha-Cha Vente dress is so pretty, pattern-wise, in person, and the cut was generous enough that my 4x ass fit into the 3x (it was fitted, but not unwearable).  But the elastic on the sleeves was so tight.  It was ok for just hanging out, but if you reached for something or pushed them up (as I would have done)…no.

The one I did wear and like was the Alma top.  Today’s outfit:


The top is a 26/28; the pants are from the LB outlet store earlier in the fall and are a 28 (I kind of wish I’d gone with the 26, they’re a little baggy… but I love love love these pants, they have actual pockets, they’re the perfect length, and the fabric is the rayon/nylon/spandex blend that doesn’t collect cat fur).  Boots are Clarks Cardy in a 10C/D.  They don’t quite zip all the way up, or at least not without some major finagling (i.e., pushing them down a little so they zip & then pulling them back up), so I mostly just wear them with pants.  They are from the “Artisan” line, and they seem to run a little smallish compared to my other Clarks.  The top itself is that magical non-wrinkle fabric, and the pictures don’t do justice to the print at all. It’s so much more vibrant in person.  The darkest color is really navy, but it’s dark enough that you could pair this with black and it wouldn’t look weird.

On to Topic the Second:  Friend Makin’ Mondays.  (From All the Weigh.)

1. What is your favorite color?

In the words of the Counting Crows: “Red is my favorite color – I felt so symbolic yesterday.”

2. Share one or more of your talents.

I remember numbers: phone numbers, account numbers, etc.  Also, I’m very good at eyeballing clothes on the rack and knowing whether they will fit or not without trying them on.

3. If you were spending the day getting to know someone new, where would you want to go?

A bookstore.  You can wander around and look at things, and there’s always a coffee place for when you get tired of wandering.

4. What is your favorite meal?

Cheese enchiladas and brochette shrimp from Pappasitos Restaurant and Cantina.  Failing that (since the chain is only in Texas and I am mostly in Oklahoma), the filet, garlic mashed potatoes, and salad (with ranch and a deliciously awesome honey-butter croissant) from Charleston’s.

5.  Do you prefer to text or talk?

Talk if it’s in person.  Text if the other choice is talking on the phone.

6. Share something about yourself that might surprise someone that you’re getting to know.

My musical tastes are all over the place.  My iPod has a little of a lot of things: punk, opera, country, showtunes, pop, rock, classical…what it does not have is much heavy metal and/or Angry Dude Music (i.e., Tool, Rage Against the Machine, Ohgr).

7. Do you color your hair?

Yes.  It starts out really obnoxious red, but then fades to close to my natural color.  We’re in almost natural color mode right now, which would be fine, if it didn’t have that stupid gray streak.

8. Do you wear glasses or contacts?

Sadly, yes.  I’m almost blind.  I wear contacts most of the time, but glasses when my eyes are bugging me (generally in the spring & fall when my allergies flare up).

9. What is your favorite breakfast food?

Chicken fried steak & eggs.  Nothing like it for curing a hangover.  I’m also partial to doughnuts.  (I don’t eat these every day, unless one of the attorneys in my office gets stressed out – when he does, it’s doughnuts every day.)

10. Would your friends say that you’re sarcastic?

I believe I once received the compliment that I elevated sarcasm to an art form.

11. Do you prefer salty or sweet?

Sweet.  Or a combination of the two.

12. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Their voice.

13. What is the last movie you watched?

Music & Lyrics (Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore)

14.  Are you religious?

That’s a negative.  I do believe in karma.

15. Are you a neat freak, a slob, or somewhere in between?

A slob.

16. Share something from your bucket list that you hope to do someday.

Go to one of the overseas music festivals.

17. Are you a risk taker, or do you prefer to play it safe?

Generally play it safe, unless I am pissed off about something.

18. Have you ever worn braces?

Not braces, but I did have some other orthodontic work done – a giant retainer thing to cure my overbite and then this awful palate expander to straighten out my back teeth…it was a square thing attached to your palate with bands going to your back teeth, then they cranked it to increase the tension and push the teeth outward.  That shit hurt so bad. After that, I was like “my teeth aren’t that crooked, and I’m not getting braces.”

19. Would you rather spend an evening at a theater or at a club?

Generally, theater.

20. If you could have three wishes, what would one of them be?

For infinitely more wishes. Heh.

Song of the Day:  Counting Crows – “Mr. Jones”

Today’s Time Waster:   Cubistry (I’ve been playing it for 3 days)

What I’m Craving:  Doritos, but I don’t have any.

Sartorial Medley (aka I Didn’t Wear Crocs Today)

So, Hailey and Ais have started a monthly outfit challenge, described as follows:

Within the blogosphere, specifically the lifestyle and fashion blogs, you’ll encounter a wide range of opinions on what is—or isn’t—attractive, fashionable, or even simply blogworthy.  Thus, even though both readers and bloggers span a wide range of body shapes and sizes, everyone, no matter who he or she is, should be able to find something relatable and enjoyable out there.

One of my favorite parts of reading other blogs is the common themes, often called “challenges”.  A small group of bloggers get together, and at regular intervals, they each host a commonly shared theme post—e.g. “Stripes”.  The neat thing about this type of blog post is that it offers us, the readers, an opportunity to see how the people in question interpret and incorporate the given theme into their outfits; it’s like a fashion-lover’s taster menu of personality.

With that in mind, and wanting to partake in the celebration of diversity, Aislynn of Couture For Curves and yours truly have decided to start our own monthly theme, the name of which will be—if you hadn’t already guessed by the title of this post—“Sartorial Medley”.

Each month on the 15th, we’re going to post a theme, and if you’d like to participate, just send one of us an e-mail by the 25th (mine is diva@divinemrsdiva.com) with a link to your blog and the specific post you’ve written for the challenge; we’ll e-mail you back as soon as we can.  And no, we’re not size discriminatory; if you’re interested in participating and we think your blog is a nice fit to the challenge—i.e., it’s a fashion-related blog/post—we’d be happy to have you join and link up when you’re able to.

This month’s theme: Burgundy

I decided to participate, because maybe it will make me wear something not totally stupid and boring at least once a month.  Seriously, my general work-wear tends to be either jeans or black pants, whatever shirt is clean, and whatever necklace I grab.  Ho-hum, very boring.  I tend to be slightly less boring-looking in the summer, because I wear dresses a lot–it’s too hot here for pants.  (It’s too hot for clothes, really, but “naked” isn’t in the dress code, so.)

Without further ado, I submit my contribution for this month’s challenge:

Burgundy Challenge











Dress:  Old Navy, 4x (summer before last?); Turtleneck: Walmart, 3x (I think. I own like 5 of them in whatever size they had handy because if they’re under stuff it doesn’t matter if they’re tight); Cardigan – Catherine’s, 26/28 (got it on clearance this past summer); Scarf – Kohl’s (last year sometime); Boots: Rocket Dog “Rachel”,; Size 11 (they’re a little big…I usually wear a 10W…but I sized up because other shoes I’ve tried in the same brand ran smallish.  These didn’t. But it left some room for a cushy insole, which they kind of need.  Also, they’re pretty roomy in the calves – I have the laces pulled almost as tight as they will go, and there’s tons of overlap…my calves are about 17.5″); Tights – Catherine’s.

Will try to write a real entry soon, but today was a giant pile of office drama again and quite frankly I just want to settle down with a nice adult beverage and my DVR’d episodes of “What Not to Wear.”

Song of the Day: “Breathe (2AM)” – Anna Nalick
Today’s Time Waster: Bitches Gotta Eat
What I’m Craving: A nice drinky.