. . . you get sprung?

So, even though it’s REALLY May, the Sartorial Medley crew hasn’t come up with a theme for May yet, so I’m going to pretend it’s still April. The theme was IS “spring has sprung.” I had to go to a baby shower on Saturday, which fortunately just consisted of the expecting mother exhorting us to drink more champagne because she can’t and opening a few presents. We skipped all the stupid “Ruining Candy for Everyone” and “You’ll Be Pregnant Next Even Though You Would Rather Drink Drano” games. Being that I had a new-ish dress from ASOS Curve in an almost-blue shade (she’s having a boy), I decided it was a good occasion to wear it. Also, my new-ish Crocs match.

Unfortunately, the weather in this godforsaken Bible-thumping Hell on Earth rarely cooperates for photo ops. The light in our apartment varies between those horrible energy-efficient bulbs, dark, and mostly dark, so outside really is better for pictures…except that it’s windy as fuck. Therefore, please to be ignoring my hair in the pictures. I spent most of them trying to keep it out of my eyes while simultaneously hoping my skirt didn’t blow up.

Also, this is why I will never be a successful fashion blogger. I am just not photogenic. My expression varies between Squinty Derp, Smug Derp, and Cheesy Derp.

Evidence:

...not quite what I was looking for.  Surely it will get better.

…not quite what I was looking for. Surely it will get better.

Let’s try again! Maybe a closer shot?

Smug. Or stoned.  Neither of which are accurate.

Smug. Or stoned. Neither of which are accurate.

Surely we’ll get a good image sometime, right?

Maybe if my hair wasn't being flung into my eyes at 40 mph.

Maybe if my hair wasn’t being flung into my eyes at 40 mph.

COME ON.

You can see (almost) that my eyeliner matches my dress...

You can see (almost) that my eyeliner matches my dress…

Keeping your eyes OPEN would be a plus, dork.

Wind makes me look like my head is a ratty dust mop.

Wind makes me look like my head is a ratty dust mop.

Last try.

At least the outfit shows.

At least the outfit shows.

Details of what I’m wearing:

Dress: ASOS Curve Flamingo Print Skater Dress
Shoes: Crocs Adrina in Aqua.
Necklace: Lane Bryant, forever ago.

Song of the Day: Ani DiFranco, “Evolve”
Today’s Time Waster: Game of Thrones, in song.
What I’m Craving: Ice cream. It was 96 here today. IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THAT SHIT.