I wanna be sedated.

So, I can’t remember if I have talked about this shit on here before or not.

Anyway, starting in 2008, I have had off and on lower back issues: basically, a couple of bulging discs and an inflamed sacroiliac joint (where the base of the spine meets the pelvis). In October 2008, I was at work one day, doing whatever stupid bullshit law office job I was doing at the time, and all of a sudden, my back was in screaming, unrelenting pain. It wasn’t like “oh, I picked up something too heavy” or “oh, I should have known better than to move the couch by myself.” It felt like someone was poking me in the spinal cord with a hot poker. That night after work, I went to the minor emergency clinic. The doctor had me lay on the exam table and then lifted my right leg at a 90º angle. I thought I was going to die. Evidently, this is a normal test to see if the pain is muscular or discogenic. My reaction indicated that yes, one of the discs in my back *might* have a problem. He wrote me a couple of prescriptions and sent me on my way.

Up until this point, I never really thought much about pain. Sure, I’d had my wisdom teeth out, had a little stint in the hospital for mono where I was in pain, sprained my ankle god knows how many times, had a couple of fairly brutal ear infections in high school and again in my mid-20s, but those were bullshit. The doctor at the minor emergency gave me some 5/750 Lortabs. They might as well have been baby aspirin for all the good they did. The next morning, I called my regular doctor. He watched me gingerly limp into his office, said that the Lortabs were of COURSE not going to do shit, and gave me some Percocet. For a couple of weeks, I was marginally okay. A month, really. I went on vacation, and while my back wasn’t feeling 2000% awesome, I was able to walk around and do touristy and family-visiting things without too much incident. A few weeks later, though, around Thanksgiving, the pain was back with a vengeance. I went for an MRI. They confirmed the disc bulge. I was “laid off” right before Christmas and given 6 weeks severance. I was referred to pain management, but unfortunately, they couldn’t fit me in for anything until January.

In January, I went for the first epidural steroid injection. During this procedure, they sedate you, then shove six-inch-long needles into your spinal column. Well, they did the SECOND part. The first part didn’t really work so much. I had no idea that this was even a possibility. I’d been sedated for the wisdom teeth (don’t remember shit) and for an endoscopy because they thought I had gallstones and not mono (don’t remember much except the lead-lined cheerleader outfits the techs wore, which I thought for a while might have just been a hallucination because I was on IV Dilaudid for 2 days before they did this and it’s a little hazy, but it turns out the x-ray/CT techs do wear these outfits at all the procedures). It never occurred to me that when someone injected some drugs into a vein, it might not do anything.

So basically, I felt the needles in the spine. I was too shocked to even move, or scream. It was over pretty fast. After I went back to the recovery room, Lando went out in the hall with the nurse and chewed some ass. I had the same procedure done two weeks later (they usually do these in twos or threes), and while I remember it, I don’t remember FEELING it. A week or so after that (it takes a little time to heal after one of these, it pretty much feels like someone stabbed you a bunch of times and then kicked you while they were at it), the back pain was mostly gone. It flared up occasionally, but went away fast and wasn’t an issue.

A couple of years later, another disc decides to act up. This time, instead of the weird shooting pain and numbness on the right, it was on the left. Also, if I sat still for too long, it felt like someone was slowly heating up a small, hard object in my chair cushion. The disc was L5-S1, the lowest lumbar vertebrae/first sacral, so it’s kinda right at your buttcrack. I know y’all wanted to know that. The other pain was from the sacroiliac joint.

This time, the course of treatment was not so smooth. There was the MRI, where I got fat-shamed by the tech. He was a such an asswipe. “Do you have diabetes?” “Nope.” “Do you have high blood pressure?” “No.” “Are you SURE?” “(nonverbal-eat shit and die, cockmaster) “Yes, I’m sure.” Then, even though it was an open MRI (the first one I had was closed), he brings out this thing that looks like a giant metal ribcage. Basically, if you can fit under the cage, they get better images. I fit. Barely. If I didn’t take deep breaths. The test takes about half an hour, during which they tell you not to move, and even though it’s an “open” machine, it’s pretty claustrophobic with this ribcage bullshit on, and I can’t really breathe like I want to because it will dislodge it and then they have to start over. It was horrible, all the way around.

After reviewing the MRI, my regular doctor sends me to an orthopedic surgeon. After my prior experience with epidural injections, I’m not so anxious to start that shit up again. He sends me to physical therapy. It seemed to help at first, a little, but then it seemed to be making things worse. The MRI was in June. I don’t decide I’m really done with PT until early September, when I was in so much pain after a session that I just wanted to crawl into the fetal position and cry. Then he sends me to pain management. The doctor there decides to address the S-I joint issue first. This involves cortisone injections into the joint. They kinda sedate you a little, but they really weren’t that bad. However, they only worked for like 2 days each, and they were several weeks apart. I go back to the orthopedist in serious pain still, and he calls and bitches at the pain management doctor, so they do a couple of epidurals. The sedation isn’t great, but at least it keeps the top edge of the pain to a minimum. We schedule the last procedure for November, which is a nerve ablation on the joint. I guess the insurance requires two injections to diagnose the problem before they’ll pay for the ablation, which involves sticking a lot of needles in and then electrifying them to deaden the nerve endings that are causing the pain.

In the meantime, my gallbladder says “fuck you,” I end up on antibiotics, the ablation gets cancelled, Lando’s car transmission takes a shit, my gallbladder comes out before Christmas, and I have to put the last of my elderly cats to sleep on New Year’s Eve. Fuck you 2011, you go to hell and you die.

The ablation was not pleasant. The sedation for that is kind of sketchy, because they have to have you awake enough to make sure they’re hitting the right nerves. Also, the healing process, while the nerves actually die off, is brutal and involves two weeks plus of worse pain…but then, I was pretty much pain-free.

Until this August.

And it’s all back. The discs, the S-I joint, blah blah blah. So I had the ablation first this time, on September 11th. This time…the sedation didn’t really work at all. The anesthesiologist (I think they’re nurses for this procedure, but not positive) was this older lady, and even though the doctor and I both told her that I’m not easy to knock out, she doesn’t believe us. NO ONE ever believes you when you say you’re hard to sedate or that pain meds don’t work. She finally zapped me with some more Fentanyl, but by then, I’d already dealt with 15 minutes of electrified needles.

Cut to October…23rd? Yes. Time for an epidural. Doctor tells anesthesiologist to turn up the juice, which she does…she gives me a double dose of Versed. I get a little talky for a few minutes, but by the time the needles are going in, I’m stone sober and crying, and by the time they get some more juice going, it’s basically over. I go back to the recovery room in a non-good state, and they bring me some drugs and some juice.

Today, I emailed the doctor’s office and said that I was dreading the procedure I have scheduled for Wednesday and I really don’t want to do that shit sober again, so can he please at least give me some Valium for before.

No response. If I don’t get a response tomorrow morning, I’m going to have to call and get all ass-chewy.

Apparently, this anesthesia resistance is more common in redheads (they have actually done studies on this) and also has a genetic component. When I talked to my dad, he said he has had the same issues…needs 3x the novocaine at the dentist, Versed & Fentanyl basically wear off in 30 seconds, blah blah. My dad isn’t a redhead, so who knows.

Also, in addition to all this bullshit, the back windshield is falling out of my car. Kids, the convertible will look shiny. Dudes will want to sex your car. But IT IS NOT WORTH IT unless you have a garage to keep it in and it’s not your primary vehicle. The fuckers leak. They leak in the rain, and they REALLY leak if you do something dumb right after you buy it like run it through a gas station car wash. And when you put the top down, it stresses the seal around the glass in the back and then it falls out. (This is not the first time, but the first time, the top got slashed by vandals and it was fixed in the process of replacing the top.) So we have to drive to goddamn Edmond (which is at least 30 minutes away from here), drop off the car, and leave there in enough time to be to the hospital by 8:15 a.m. Then I won’t have a car for 2 days. Assuming, of course, that the convertible guys are not full of shit.

If I were the sort to bet (which I’m not, because my luck is pretty fucking bad), I wouldn’t count on my car being done till at least Friday.

*** UPDATE ***

Had epidural today. Explained to the nurse (who thankfully was the same one from last time) that she needed to keep the drugs rolling because apparently they are the only thing my body metabolizes fast. OF COURSE it’s fun drugs. Sigh. Anyway, I also got my pregame Valium, which did improve my mood. I was still slightly nervous, but at least I wasn’t a total basket case. However, I am now pissed off at my goddamn doctor’s office, because the nurse who handles the refills on the prescriptions is being non-helpful. It will be 30 days on Sunday since my last refill, as it should be. I’ve been hoarding, because they always get goddamn picky, even when it’s not anything that GOOD, but the pain after the last injections was awful for a week and I couldn’t not take them. But she’s telling me that you *always* have to make an appointment for a refill (which is a lie, because this same chick just called it into the pharmacy last time); they only make appointments on Wednesdays and Thursdays; etc. Okay, but you also have to sign this stupid contract that says no refill requests on Fridays, no refills on procedure days (Wednesdays), no other doctors can give you drugs, they can make you pee in a cup, basically everything they can do to make everyone in pain feel like a fucking addict even though THAT IS WHY THE SHIT EXISTS. Thanks, hillbillies and teenagers.

I didn’t think I was going to have a car on Thursday, but it turns out I would have bet wrong, because they called today and said it was ready. I asked if the glue was dry, and they said they actually use staples instead of glue. I don’t really care what they use, as long as the window stops leaking and doesn’t fall the hell out. So I call the doctor’s office back and ask for an appointment tomorrow, and of course there’s not one but call back Friday. When they don’t give refills.

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ.

I suppose this could all be worse, but it’s just frustrating. And I don’t even want to go to work tomorrow, because it hurts worse the 2nd day, but if I don’t go, I will get shit from my boss, who has been acting like an entitled dicknugget lately and I’ve had about enough of that shit. He claims to hate certain assholes we used to work for, but like most people in abusive relationships, he is perpetuating the cycle and I’m done with that. (1) He is not the only one with things besides work on his mind. (2) There’s no need for this shit. He wants my “A” game, but he knows and I know that the “B-minus” game is still better than the rest of the office. He is also one of those “I am too macho for doctors and aspirin” types. Well, son, I’m not. So go fuck yourself. (Interestingly, he is also a member of the group of dudes that give each other shit about what they eat for lunch…like “I’m eating fruit and yogurt…what are YOU eating?” The guys are way worse than the women in my office. The women (at least the ones I usually see in the break room) are eating tacos and hot wings and pasta. It’s usually the reverse.) I’m done with entitlement, and if he doesn’t realize this in short order, we’re going to have a problem.

Song of the Day: Ylvis – “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say)”
Today’s Time Waster: Why the above is stuck in my damn head.
What I’m Craving: A new car or some good drugs.

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Suddenly I’m Bright and Breezy (FMM)

Greetings and salutations.  It’s been a while.  I’ve composed about 9000 half-drafts of things, but I haven’t finished any of them.  Life has been a little shitty-ish lately.

So I’m just going to get right on with Friend-Makin’ Monday, sponsored by Kenlie at All the Weigh. If you drop by, please say hi. Also, if you decide to play, leave a link to your answers here & on Kenlie’s post. This week’s theme is:

Getting To Know Each Other

1. What is your favorite flower?
The white roses with the blood-red tips. Or any other multicolored rose.

2. What is a date on the calendar that you’re looking forward to?
September 11. I know, that’s fucked up, but I’m having a procedure done on my back that will likely alleviate the lower back agony that I have been dealing with for the last 6 weeks. Also September 14, because it’s the Cutest Niece in the World’s first birthday.

3. List at least five characteristics of your ideal mate.
Loyal, intelligent, honest, funny, independent.

4. What is your favorite travel destination?
Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama….

And now that your Monday earworm is planted, of the places I’ve been, my favorites are Disney World and the Oregon coast. But I want to go to a lot of other places.

5. What is your idea of the perfect date?
“I’d have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.”

6. What is your relationship with your family like?
Mostly good, but a little complicated. I think my parents would both like it if I visited and/or talked to them more often, but I have to keep a little distance or I end up turning into an over-involved basket case. There’s a reason my nearest relative is 473 miles away.

7. What time did you wake up this morning?
6:38 a.m. (My alarm is always set for some random time like this.)

8. What characteristic do you like most about yourself? Which do you dislike most?
Like: intelligence. Dislike: also intelligence. To me, it’s a double-edged sword. It makes me learn things quickly, but I also get bored with them quickly. And I tend to get frustrated easily with people who require 97 explanations of how to do something before they “get it.”

9. What is your favorite sport to watch?
None of the above. If I wanted to watch dudes play with each other’s balls, I’d go download some gay porn.

10. Share a few interesting things that you did over the weekend.
Uh, let’s see. Went to the eye doctor because I woke up Saturday and my eye looked all swollen. Turned out to be nothing major, but the eye doctor gave me some free sample antibiotic eyedrops. Wandered around the mall and bought a few things at the Body Shop and a custom box of See’s candy. (Mostly orange creams and butterscotch squares, because clearly those are the best ones.) Went to see “The World’s End,” which wasn’t bad, but wasn’t as good as Hot Fuzz or Shaun of the Dead.

Song of the Day: “I Don’t Care” – Icona Pop
Today’s Time Waster: Meetings suck enough without bad slides.
What I’m Craving: My eye infection to be over so I can stop wearing these idiot glasses. I tried to buy new ones, but none of the “one-hour glasses” shops stock lenses in my prescription, at least not the ones where I can actually see to drive. Aside from not being fond of this pair aesthetically, the prescription is off just enough to give me a headache. I can’t take Advil till after my back procedure on Wednesday (because it thins your blood and makes you bleed a lot).

me-glasses

We’re All a Little Loony (FMM)

I have a lot on my mind at the moment, and a few serious entries are percolating, but in the meantime, I decided to actually do FMM on time this week. I will preface this by saying that I don’t generally watch a whole lot of TV. I do occasionally watch things, but I read way more than I watch TV. Lest you think that this means I am super snooty literary, let me put your mind at ease. A lot of the time, I think of books they way some people think of TV. Lately, I’ve re-read all of the Sue Grafton “alphabet mysteries” up through “K” because they were on sale for $1.99 for the Kindle. I also read some trashy chick book by Kristin Hannah, which was ok but did use a few tired-ass plots (sexual tension between BFF and husband; omg cancer; etc.), and a book called The Velvet Room, which is kind of a YA book but which was actually pretty decent. I’ve got a bunch of other things lined up to read. I am bad about putting books on my “to read” list on Goodreads and then not reading them. Oh well. I’ll probably read that shit eventually, after I get done beating Jewel Quest Heritage and the new levels on Angry Birds.

So, on to the questions. If you answer, please link in my comments and in those of our hostess with the mostest, Kenlie at All the Weigh. Say hi if you’re dropping by! I like hearing from people and finding new people to read. This week’s theme is “Let’s Talk about TV.”

1. Share your current “Must-See” TV shows.

Bizarre Foods America. I tried to get into Big Brother, but when I found out that stupid bitch Rachel had a sister in the cast…PASS. That means that Rachel will make another appearance somewhere and I never ever want to see her again.

2. Do you prefer reality shows or sitcoms?

Depends on my mood. I like reality shows that are of things that are fucked up, like the medical anomaly ones (like the Tree Man or 100 Pound Face Tumors, not the fat people ones. Those are just awful.)

3. Who is your favorite talk show host?

Probably Ellen DeGeneres. Or Craig Ferguson.

4. Which network(s) do you turn to for news?

I really get most of my news on the internet. Sometimes CNN, sometimes BBC. Sometimes one of the awful local stations (but only in inclement weather).

5. Do you have Tivo or DVR? If so, which programs do you have set to record?

I have it set to record What Not to Wear (which sadly is over), Glee, and Bizarre Foods America. My significant other records Dr. Who, Archer, Venture Brothers, sometimes other random movies and shit. I occasionally record a movie or a concert.

6. Have you ever started watching a show simply because you heard so much about it on social media? If so, which one did you watch?

No. Unless you consider my BFF emailing me and informing me that I *had* to watch Big Brother with her (2 years ago) “social media.”

7. List any TV series that you own on DVD.

Oh god. This is a LIST. Some of these are mine, some are his but since we live in the same house they count.

    30 Rock
    Chappelle’s Show
    CSI (several seasons, all pre-departure of Grissom)
    Dead Like Me (which makes me sad that it was canceled)
    Family Guy
    Firefly
    Fringe
    Heroes
    The Guild
    It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
    The Simpsons
    South Park
    Mr. Show
    Robot Chicken
    Dr. Who
    Glee
    The Big Bang Theory
    Buffy
    Angel
    Castle
    Six Feet Under
    Archer
    Venture Brothers
    Community
    The League
    Tiny Toon Adventures
    Sherlock
    Lie to Me
    Arrested Development
    The Good Wife

I think there are some more around here somewhere, but those would definitely be Lando’s.

8. Do you have a subscription to Netflix, Hulu, etc? If so, what kind of device do you use to stream it?

I have Amazon Prime, which I use on my Kindle Fire or on my computer. We also have Netflix, which he streams on his computer or tablet or the PS3. I could stream Netflix, but I can never remember the password and Amazon has the same shit anyway. What’s funny is that I don’t really watch much in the way of TV or movies, but I guarantee that Prime has been worth it because of the amount of stupid shit I buy and have them ship to me 2nd day.

9. If you could star in a TV show that already exists, which one would you choose?

I think we had a variation on this a couple of months ago, but my answer is still Glee (even without Cory Monteith, which is just so sad). Second choice: CSI.

10. If you could bring back one TV show that is no longer on the air, which one would you choose?

Dead Like Me.

That concludes this evening’s pointless drivel.

Song of the Day: Tori Amos – “Precious Things”
Today’s Time Waster: Free fonts…I have no idea why I need these, but I find them fascinating.
What I’m Craving: The end of summer.

Hungry Like the Wolf (FMM OK FINE IT’S TECHNICALLY FMW. FML.)

Yeah, okay, it’s Wednesday. I’ve been running behind schedule all week. Monday I was tired. Tuesday I had a flat tire and a doctor’s appointment. Today Lando got up early and messed up my bathroom routine a little. Not a lot, but I have things timed to the exact minute most of the time (unless there is a fashion emergency like mystery stains, leggings or tights that do not appear to be the marked size, broken necklace, etc.). Seriously. My morning routine is thus:

6:35 – Alarm goes off. I usually hit snooze at least once.
6:45 – get up. Give Amelia her snack. Eye drops. Plug Kindle into charger. Bathroom. Turn on coffeepot and computer. Smoke one cigarette.
7:00-7:25 – shower.
7:25-7:45 – Stir Miles and Zooey’s food, because god forbid there be an empty spot at the bottom of the bowl. Swear at the dishwasher when I realize my favorite coffee mug has some nasty crumbs inside even though it’s clean. Scrub crumbs from coffee mug. Make coffee. Drink coffee. Pet Miles because he’s very needy in the morning. Remove Zooey from computer keyboard twice.
7:45-8:05 – Pick outfit, put on makeup, brush teeth, get dressed, etc.
8:05-8:07 – Gather up stuff and leave for work. If I am in the car by 8:08, I usually am sitting down at my desk at 8:29.

Anyway, on to the Friend Makin’ Monday questions. If you decide to participate, please leave comments for me & for <a href=”http://www.alltheweigh.com”>Kenlie</a>, the hostess of FMM. Today’s questions are about food:

1. Do you make grocery lists?
Sort of…I don’t list every single thing I plan to buy, but if we’re out of something (especially things we don’t buy every time we go, like certain spices or light bulbs), I try to jot myself a note. I also make a list if I’m making a new recipe.

2. Do you have a routine when shopping in your favorite grocery store?
I usually hit up the dairy section, then the frozen stuff, then bread, produce/meat, and grab non-perishables as I go. I would probably do things in a different order, but the store layout of my usual grocery store is weird. If I go to Walmart instead, it’s the medicine/toiletry aisles, the pet aisle, then groceries, starting with dairy and ending up in produce/deli. (Dairy is at the back, produce & deli at the front.)

3. What is your favorite seasoning?
McCormick’s Fajita Seasoning. The kind in bottles, not the little packets.

4. What is the healthiest food in your fridge right now?
I think there’s some lettuce and apples in there.

5. What is the most unhealthy food in your fridge now?
In the actual fridge? Probably the bags of grated cheese. In the freezer? I think all that’s IN the freezer right now is ice cream and booze.

6. What is the most exotic produce you’ve ever had?
My Vietnamese friend was always feeding me weird fruit, but he would never tell me what it was. Come to think of it, that’s what he did with pretty much everything food-wise. He would either rattle off a name in Vietnamese or just refuse to tell me. It was all delicious, though.

7. Tell us about your favorite local restaurant.
Big Truck Tacos! Because come on, tacos. Really, though, it’s their queso that is the bomb. I have no idea what makes it different, but it’s seriously scoop it out of the container with your finger when you run out of chips good.

8. What kind of pasta do you prefer (regular, whole wheat, etc.?)
Regular angel hair pasta, although I also like rotini and tortellini. I also like rice noodles…mostly the thin ones.

9. If you could make one food calorie-free for an entire week, which food would you choose?
BUTTER. Think about it – it would make delicious baked goods contain less calories (butterscotch blondies**, I’m looking at you) (Pioneer Woman chocolate cake too); you could use it to make sauces for pasta and saute things and eat it on bread and and and.

10. If you had to choose would you rather give up french fries or chocolate?
French fries. I can deep fry other things to satisfy that craving, but there’s just no getting around the chocolate when you need it.

The recipe for the blondies:

2 cups flour (if you’re using real eggs, it needs about 2 1/4 cups)
2 ½ cups light brown sugar
10 tablespoons salted butter
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
3 eggs or 3/4 cup egg substitute

(This recipe was adapted from one on Cooking Light. I’m not really sure what was “light” about it, other than maybe the egg substitute.)

In a skillet or small saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. First it will bubble a little, then it will get kind of foamy looking, then it mostly clarifies and starts to brown. You want it about the color of the brown sugar. Take it off the heat and pour it into a little bowl. Let it cool for 10 minutes.

In the meantime, put the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, and salt into a bigger bowl, and mix them together.

Once the butter has cooled, add three beaten eggs (or the stupid egg substitute, but seriously, who uses that shit to BAKE?) to the butter, and stir together. Once they’re combined, pour this mixture over the dry ingredients and stir until combined (no over-mixing). The mixture kind of feels like bread dough at this point…or like chocolate chip cookie batter before you add the chips.
Spray a 9×13 pan with cooking spray. (I actually use a baker’s quarter-sheet pan, which is close, and it turned out better than it did in the 9×13 cake pan.) Spread the dough in the pan. Best strategy: put a glob in each corner and one in the middle and kind of flatten them out. The dough isn’t really “spreadable” like cake batter is.

My oven runs hot, so I cook mine at 325 for 24 minutes. The original directions said 350 for 30 minutes, but 30 minutes is too long, I think. Maybe 24-25.

Try to restrain yourself and let them cool before you cut them into squares….although they are delicious when they’re still warm and you can kind of mush them into new shapes.

I didn’t actually modify the original recipe much…I used real eggs, and salted butter (recipe says unsalted). The first time or two I made them, I just barely sprinkled any extra salt in the batter, but the last couple of times, I added the extra salt, and it really kicked them up a notch. Also, it does need more flour…otherwise, they’re a little greasy when they’re done.

These would probably be good with stuff mixed in them, but they’re also good on their own. I know some of you crazy kids will want to sully them with nuts or something. If you are mixing things in, probably leave out the extra flour.

Song of the Day: Brandi Carlile – “Cannonball”
Today’s Time Waster: <a href=”https://hpwishlist.warnerbros.com/contest”>Harry Potter contest.</a>
What I’m Craving: A Percocet. My back is killing me.

Walkin’ on a Sidewalk, Hotter than a Match Head

More things making me stabby:

1. My office is a block from a movie theater. The least expensive places to eat lunch are right by the theater. Since summer started (which has basically been since I’ve worked here), every day, there is some giant group of annoying children in matching t-shirts making it take half an hour to get a fucking taco. GO BACK TO SCHOOL ALREADY. I’ve tried going at different times, and it doesn’t matter. Plus, for the last at least 10 years, lunchtime has been 11:30-11:45. That’s what time I’m hungry, dammit.

2. 101 degrees outside.

3. Getting another zit on my nose.

4. I’ve mentioned that summer can go fuck itself, right?

5. I hate makeup you have to put on with your fingers. I don’t want to stick my fingers in jars and get stuff under my nails and/or all over my hands.

6. A co-worker has poison ivy and ever since she said that I’ve been itching. I’m sure it’s psychosomatic. At least it better be. I’ve been washing my hands like Lady Macbeth, just in case.

7. My computer at home is misbehaving and I think I’m going to have to reinstall Windows. I’m not sure what the problem is, but the sound won’t work, but the driver software says it’s up to date. Also, it won’t restart. It says it’s going to, but then it crashes. It won’t sleep, either. I think there’s a reboot disc in all the shit that came with the computer. If not, I’mma have to call and bitch at someone. The computer is still under warranty, so whatever’s wrong with it shouldn’t end up costing money. It better not, anyway.

Song of the Day: Guster – “Airport Song”
Today’s Time Waster: Dustin Hoffman on playing a woman, which everyone on Facebook has probably already seen but I didn’t watch it till now, see #7.
What I’m Craving: A nap in a meat locker.

Look Both Ways Before You Cross Me

Things that are making me stabby:

1. My hair. It’s been falling out. I mean, I know everyone sheds, but this has been ridiculous. According to Dr. Google, if you have been under major stress, about 3 months later, your hair falls out. Something about expedited growth cycles blah blah blah. I suppose it could be something else, but the stress thing? Long term unemployment, career crisis, hate my life, check. It’s driving me nuts. My hair is at the awkward stage anyway. I want it to be LONG (bra-strap-mid-back length), but it’s about halfway between there and my shoulders. I see all these pretty braids on Pinterest, and I want to try them, but half of me just wants to cut the shit back off shoulder length and dye turquoise streaks in it. Which is probably going to win.

2. My shoes. So many shoes, and all of them are giving me blisters. THE FUCK is with shoe manufacturers making sandals that have these slippery, slidy bottoms? Do they think women’s feet don’t sweat? The only shoes I can even stand right now are my Sanuk Yoga Mat Flip Flops. I’ve been surfing for some slightly more work-appropriate options but I am not finding what I want. Might be time to order some black flip-flops and say fuck it. My co-workers wear jeans and tennis shoes half the time, or Toms, or Chucks. Probably no one would even notice.

3. My co-workers. Speaking of. They’re nice people but we need to bring this office to the 21st century, starting with direct deposit and ending with scanning the goddamn mail. Also, the one I probably have to deal with the most is lazy as shit. I can respect this as a lifestyle choice, but DUDE. At least make an effort on the typos and the putting things in the file in date order. I’m trying to keep my mouth shut but it’s so, so hard. None of these people would last 30 seconds at any job I’ve had for the last 15 years, and it’s making me crazy. Like I said, though, I’m trying to keep my mouth shut and not (a) create work for myself, because I have this habit of doing that and (b) piss anyone off. I’ve had enough work drama over the last year, I don’t need any more. I’m just trying to quietly fix things and make it so that *my* stuff is the way I want it. BUT AAAAGH LEARN HOW TO USE THE CALENDAR SYSTEM AND NOT PUT THINGS IN THE WRONG FOLDERS.

4. Summer. I hate summer. I hate it so much. I have many cute new clothes and perhaps a few more coming that I ordered from 4th of July sales and all I want to do is wear my pajama shorts. I can’t even with this. It was 94 degrees at 8:45 pm. Come on Powerball, I want to move somewhere that the temperature never, ever gets this high. When I see the weather forecast, all I can think of is Robin Williams in “Good Morning, vietnam” with his spiel about “The weather today is hot and shitty. The weather tomorrow will be hot and shitty with a crappy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it’s hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut.” PS, the Just My Size “leggings” are not, in fact, actual leggings, they are footless tights, and they are nigh impossible to wrench onto your legs in the morning when you just put on lotion and you’re in a hurry and you wanted to wear a tunic with non-pants and instead you ended up wearing a dress and not having time to finish your makeup.

Song of the Day: “The Love You Save May Be Your Own” – Jackson Five
Today’s Time Waster: Find me some shoes in a 9.5 or 10 wide that AREN’T SLIPPERY INSIDE and contain no parts that will give my little toe a damn blister. Also, cheap would be awesome.
What I’m Craving: A cold front.

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat (FMM)

The weekend was fairly uneventful. I was tired. I took some naps. I cooked a few times…I made chicken fajitas, and butterscotch blondies (note: I used 3 eggs instead of the egg substitute), and mac and cheese (with bacon and peas). I did some dishes. I wrote an entry about eyeliner. I played a little World of Warcraft and a lot of Treasures of Montezuma 3. I started a book or two but wasn’t into them.

Basically, I didn’t do shit.


Recipe for Mac & Cheese:

Ingredients:
16 oz pasta of your choice
4 tbsp. butter + 2 tbsp. butter
4 tbsp. all-purpose flour
Some milk…maybe about 2 cups?
1 package bacon (I used thick cut)
1 bag steamable peas (I really only used about 2/3 of the bag)
CHEESE! (About 3-4 cups. I used pepper jack, sharp cheddar, and colby jack.)

Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain & stick back in pan with 2 tbsp. of butter. While the pasta is cooking, steam the peas – go with the shorter end of the suggested cooking time on the bag. Also, cook the bacon…make sure it’s not super crispy. Let the bacon cool.

While the bacon is cooling off, melt 4 tbsp. butter in saucepan on low heat. Add 4 tbsp. flour and whisk until smooth. Let it cook for a few minutes while you crumble the bacon. After you’re done with the bacon, add some milk to the butter/flour mixture. Whisk until smooth. Let it heat up for a couple of minutes, and then dump in the cheese. Add salt, pepper, and seasoned salt to taste. Whisk all of that together until smooth. Dump in the pasta, the bacon, and the peas, and stir together gently.

In the meantime, preheat the oven to 300-325º. Our oven is an overheating piece of shit, so I went with 300. Spray a 9×13 casserole dish with cooking spray. Dump in the mac & cheese, then top with a little more shredded cheese and a few bread crumbs (if you want). Bake for 20-ish minutes.


Time again for Friend-Makin’ Monday, courtesy of Kenlie at All the Weigh. If you decide to play, please leave a comment here & on Kenlie’s blog. Today’s questions:

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Oh god I need to wash my hair.

2. Do you prefer to pay for things with cash or plastic?
Plastic. So much more convenient. Plus, it seems like when you have cash, it just disappears…like you have a $20, and the next thing you know, you have $1.23.

3. What is one word that you use too often?
Seriously. Also “fuck.”

4. Who is the last person outside of your family who said “I love you” to you?
Probably my friend CDA.

5. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone and mailed it?
Uh. I think I sent a card to my gramma for her birthday. Mostly I stick to electronic correspondence.

6. Have you ever been called upon for jury duty?
Yes. It was federal court, and it was for theft. Basically, a bank employee made up fake checks and cashed them. Jury duty was an interesting experience. Since I’ve generally been assisting lawyers in any trial situation, it was educational to be on the other side of the fence and see what works and what doesn’t. It was also kind of nerve-racking, because the defendant was pretty young…she was in her late 20’s, I think. I felt like some of the other jurors were willing to just convict her without really looking at the evidence and making sure. Basically, myself and one other juror made everyone review all the documents before we would agree that she was guilty. It seemed like people were in a hurry to get out of there, and that was shitty. You are dealing with someone’s life and liberty, and if you were the one being charged, you would want to know that the jury took their job seriously and really looked at all the material before saying “guilty.” I actually checked online later to see what her sentence was. I don’t think she actually ended up serving much jail time…it was probation and restitution.

7. How many keys are on your key ring?
A bunch. I have keys to several friends’ houses, and my parents’ houses.

8. List two characteristics that you want to change about yourself.
I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller…

Just kidding. I would like to be less of a procrastinator and I would love to be able to just drop off to sleep at night without the laying awake for three hours part.

9. Do you bring your own shampoo and conditioner when you travel, or do you use what the hotel provides?
Usually, when I travel, I am staying with family or friends, and I sometimes bring them. If I’m going to my mom’s, I just mooch things like shampoo and toothpaste. I used to pack that stuff all the time, but then a bottle of shampoo exploded all over my makeup bag. If I’m going to a hotel, I usually will throw a couple of trial sizes in my bag, just in case the kind they have is icky.

10. What is your birthstone? Do you like it?
An emerald, and I do like it.

Song of the Day: ZZ Ward – “Till the Casket Drops”
Today’s Time Waster: Cuteness for Monday.
What I’m Craving: Chips and queso.

I am smitten by the real thing (by the real thing)

While I like buying makeup as much as the next person, I have limited space to store it. Plus, I hate having to think first thing in the morning when I’m getting ready. I need to go through my “mostly rejected” basket and toss some things. I do have several kinds of foundation, mostly because my skin has been in a MOOD lately and nothing seems to be making it happy, except going without makeup, and I don’t like to do that in the summer because my skin is all oily and blotchy and my makeup has sunscreen. I always use the same blush, and despite what I like to believe, most of my lipsticks are almost the same corporate-goth-burgundy-ish color. (I have a few bright reds and a couple of more brownish ones, but yeah. I own at least half a dozen that are the burgundy lipstick version of Blush and Bashful.) But my real makeup vice is eyeliner. I just counted. I have 46. There are a few duplicates, since Urban Decay and Sephora have earned spots on my shit list for recently discontinuing my favorite colors and I stocked up a little (1999 and Flashy Brown, respectively), but most of them are not.

Behold, the rainbow of fruit flavors:

The only color I'm missing is yellow.

The only color I’m missing is yellow.

The reason I like eyeliners is because I can fit (almost) all of them into a cup that doesn’t take up a whole lot of space on our nowhere-near-adequate bathroom counter:

The counter is a mess, so I'm hand modeling.  Nail polish is OPI "Suzi Says Feng Shui."

The counter is a mess, so I’m hand modeling. Nail polish is OPI “Suzi Says Feng Shui.”

“Almost” because I have one gel and one from Lush that don’t really fit in the cup. Also, I just had to buy a bigger cup, but hey, that means I have room for a few more! These can be grouped into a few basic color categories, of course: browns, purples, blues, greens, and random.

Let’s start with the ones I wear the most often, though. They are: Urban Decay 1999, Sephora Flashy Brown, Stila Smudge Sticks in Turquoise, and Urban Decay Underground.

I might have an extra or two of 1999 and Flashy Brown.

I might have an extra or two of 1999 and Flashy Brown.

The Flashy Brown especially is a good neutral for me. I don’t even look right in black eyeliner. I just look kind of old and cheap and used up. It makes my eye color pop, but beyond that, the rest of my face is just like “UGH NO.” 1999 is very subtle, kind of a golden purple. The new color “Ether” is SIMILAR, but it’s more of a gray undertone rather than a gold one. The turquoise is really more green than I would consider turquoise to be, but it stays on like a dream and I love it. Sadly, it’s a limited edition. I may have to go buy another one shortly, because nothing else is that color and matte. I think I looked at all possible cheaper options before I allowed myself to go buy it. Urban Decay in Underground is a little more grayish and is also good for every day.

Next, we shall move on to the brown ones. Because I love you, I swatched all of these eyeliners on my freckled hands. Hopefully the pictures don’t suck as bad as I think they do. I am the worst photographer ever. Seriously. I’ve taken like 3 good pictures in my entire life. I think of my photography skills like that old saying about monkeys and typewriters and eventually accidentally coming up with “Hamlet.” Anyway, on to the browns!

The pencils.

The pencils.

L to R: UD Bourbon, UD Whiskey, Sephora Flashy Brown, UD Underground, UD Stray Dog, UD Lucky, Sephora Glitter Copper, Ulta Golden Eyes.

L to R: UD Bourbon, UD Whiskey, Sephora Flashy Brown, UD Underground, UD Stray Dog, UD Lucky, Sephora Glitter Copper, Ulta Golden Eyes.

“Lucky” is a new addition to my collection. The Urban Decay “Vintage” 24/7 pencils (meaning the colors they discontinued) are on sale on their website for half price. The Urban Decay liners are great. They go on smoothly without tugging, and they stay on fairly well. If you don’t wear primer and/or have oily skin and/or live somewhere it’s hot, they can melt a little by the end of the day. The Sephora brand liners are mostly good…they have discontinued the “Flashy” line, but still have the ones like the glitter one. They stay on well, also, but the glitter fucking migrates under my contacts, even with primer. The non-glitter ones of this type are fine.

Let’s get purple!

Purple is supposed to be a good color for those of us with brown/amber eyes.

Purple is supposed to be a good color for those of us with brown/amber eyes.

L to R: UD Crash, Rimmel Purple Passion, Almay Purple Amethyst, UD Ransom, Sephora Flashy Ultra Violet, Sephora Fancy Violet (liquid), UD 1999, NYX Lavender Shimmer.

L to R: UD Crash, Rimmel Purple Passion, Almay Purple Amethyst, UD Ransom, Sephora Flashy Ultra Violet, Sephora Fancy Violet (liquid), UD 1999, NYX Lavender Shimmer.

“Crash” is also new & I haven’t tried it yet. I like the lavender one, although I’m not 100% fond of the texture…it’s cheaper, and it goes on like it’s cheaper. Still, for the price, it’s not horrible. I’m not as fond of the bluish-purples…they’re okay sometimes, but I prefer the more true purple or the brownish/reddish purples.

Next, I’ve got the blues…

I wasn't really sure where the hell to classify the turquoise one.

I wasn’t really sure where the hell to classify the turquoise one.

L to R: Rimmel Light Blue, Rimmel Denim, L'Oreal Navy (Gel), Sephora Fancy Blue (Liquid), UD Radium; Lush Calm (Liquid), Sephora Flashy Blue; Sephora Teal, Stila Turquoise.

L to R: Rimmel Light Blue, Rimmel Denim, L’Oreal Navy (Gel), Sephora Fancy Blue (Liquid), UD Radium; Lush Calm (Liquid), Sephora Flashy Blue; Sephora Teal, Stila Turquoise.

The gel liner is a little easier than liquid if you’re a klutz like I am. It also dries faster. Still, I’m not 100% sold on the whole navy thing. I love the light blue, and the turquoise(s), and I want the UD pencil version of the bright blue because waiting for shit to dry is dumb.

Greens, also known as “these match way too much of my wardrobe”:

Some of these I debated about whether to call them green or blue.

Some of these I debated about whether to call them green or blue.

L to R: Rimmel Ivy; Sephora Flashy Moss; UD Junkie; Sephora Green; Sephora Pantone Color of the Year (Emerald) Set (there's another one around here somewhere too); CoverGirl Liquiline Blast  (I must have sharpened off the name.)

L to R: Rimmel Ivy; Sephora Flashy Moss; UD Junkie; Sephora Green; Sephora Pantone Color of the Year (Emerald) Set (there’s another one around here somewhere too); CoverGirl Liquiline Blast (I must have sharpened off the name.)

The “Color of the Year” ones irritated my eyes a little, and they are hard to get off with makeup remover or soap but feed on your allergic reaction tears. Really, the glitter one was the worst. The matte version is what I was wearing in my May Sartorial Medley post. The darker greens I don’t wear so much, but I like the lime green CoverGirl one. It’s pretty decent quality, as well…softer than the Rimmel pencils.

AND FINALLY, the last batch, which are metallic neutrals, bright colors, and my lone black eyeliner:

You really didn't think I'd be able to take all these pictures without a cat photobomb, right?

You really didn’t think I’d be able to take all these pictures without a cat photobomb, right?

Minus the Amelia snout.

Minus the Amelia snout.

Top to Bottom:  Sephora Flashy Black; Sephora Flashy Gunmetal (it only came in a set); NYX Extreme Silver (Liquid); Ulta Starlet; Sephora Flashy Silver; UD Woodstock (Liquid); UD Woodstock (Pencil); Sephora Color of the Year from last year aka Orange.

Top to Bottom: Sephora Flashy Black; Sephora Flashy Gunmetal (it only came in a set); NYX Extreme Silver (Liquid); Ulta Starlet; Sephora Flashy Silver; UD Woodstock (Liquid); UD Woodstock (Pencil); Sephora Color of the Year from last year aka Orange.

Whew. Woodstock I love, even though I’m not really into pink for clothing. I love the gunmetal color and wish it was permanent, but I think there is a similar Urban Decay color. The Sephora Flashy Silver is the only one from that line I hated…it goes on streaky, the tip breaks off about four times on each eye because it’s too soft, and it doesn’t stay put. However, it’s ok for the occasional highlight, so I kept it (also maybe because I am a packrat).

This post has taken more effort than I put forth at work all day today. Today was one of those “type a few letters, go take a long lunch for someone’s birthday, type a few revisions, rejoice when they let you leave early” days.

Song of the Day: REM – “Crush with Eyeliner”
Today’s Time Waster: Frosting is important, like gravy.
What I’m Craving: Sleep for the love of god. I think I figured out the problem, though. I thought my multivitamins were just the women’s kind with more iron and calcium and shit, but it turns out, they’re the “metabolism boosting” ones that have a metric ass ton of caffeine in them. Must remember “no green bottles” next time.

No one likes to be let down. (FMM)

Why hello everyone. This past week was filled with bullshit. One of our kitties, Miles, does not like one of our other kitties, Amelia. Miles is a big, loudmouth boy cat, and he’s normally very sweet and snuggly. He loves our other girl cat, Zooey, even though she’s kind of mean to him, but he sees Amelia as an intruder to be attacked. I have no idea why. When we got him, we had three elderly female cats, and he never started any shit with them, and he adopted Zooey from the moment I brought her home, but even though Amelia is the most shy, scaredy baby, he just goes after her. We keep them separated….Miles & Zooey live in the living area, and Amelia lives in the bedroom. Amelia is fine with this arrangement. She’s a pretty independent sort…she likes to watch the birds and the bugs outside, she likes to play with her toys, she likes us but mostly because we give her snacks.

So anyway. Lando accidentally didn’t shut her door all the way, and Miles got in the bedroom…and tagged her ear, and then she pooped and peed a lot, and then she went and hid in the closet and wouldn’t come out. Miles was not very repentant. Therefore, we had to wash all the blankets and pillowcases and give Amelia lots of snacks and canned food to make her happy again. All seems to be well, but I really wish he would quit being a little butthole. I mean, she’s like half his size and doesn’t even fight back.

Bonus Cat Pics:

20130416_134627
Miles looks vicious, right?

20130502_154159
Zooey likes boxes.

20130302_122842
Amelia is my sweet little derp.

Then, on top of that, my computer monitor decided to quit working, so there’s another $246.99 I wasn’t planning on spending. Grrr. Our “backup” monitor is this tiny 17″ piece of crap that I’ve had for at least 9 years, and I don’t even think I have an adapter to make it plug in to my computer. Plus, I’m used to my 27″. I have bad eyesight, ya’ll. The new monitor is now in place and works fine.

I spent most of the weekend taking naps. Since my insomnia has flared up again, I’m living on too little sleep, which I make up for by over-caffeinating…it’s a vicious cycle. We did go out to dinner for Lando’s dad’s birthday/Father’s Day. The restaurant is one of those vaguely hipster brewpubs…they have classic comfort food, but it’s all served on weird-shaped plates and arranged just so. I had chicken fried steak, and it was ok, but they put like 2 little dots of gravy on it. Bitch, please. The gravy is IMPORTANT. I asked for more gravy and got this little tiny ramekin. Those are for DIPPING SAUCE, not GRAVY. I guess next time I’ll order something more fancy.

Anyway, on to the Friend-Makin’ Monday festivities, hosted as usual by Kenlie at All the Weigh. This week’s topic is “Just Wondering” and is as random as I feel today. If you decide to play, either answer on your own blog and leave comments for me and for Kenlie, or answer in my comments if you’re not the blogging type. Be sure to check out the comments on Kenlie’s site, too, for more people to visit!

1. Do you wear glasses and/or contacts?

Contacts whenever possible, but sometimes when my allergies are bad, I have to wear glasses. I also sometimes get things stuck under my contacts, like cat fur (my cat Zooey is generally all up in my grill) or eye makeup (the glitter liners from Sephora are the worst offenders, but sometimes the Urban Decay shadows or whatever shitty mascara I was forced to buy because they were out of my brand are culprits).

2. Do you have summer vacation plans? If so, where are you going?

Not so far…I just started a new job, so I don’t have any vacation time yet. Maybe in the fall.

3. What is your favorite food to eat for breakfast?

Donuts! (Especially the chocolate frosted kind with cream filling.) I’m also fond of the little sausage rolls they have at the donut place. (There are two independent donut shops close to us, and they both have those little sausage rolls. They also have big sausage rolls, but I like the little ones better.) (That’s NOT what she said.)

4. Do you enjoy window shopping?

Yes, I kind of do. I enjoy buying things more, but sometimes, if I’m having a bad day, I can just go wander around and touch things at somewhere like Ross or Marshall’s. I cannot wander around Ulta or Sephora, though, because I will buy things. I’m also a fan of internet window-shopping…I tend to put things in my cart a lot and not buy them. Note: sometimes if you do this, and leave it for a day or two, the retailer will send you a coupon code.

5. What is your favorite candle scent?

I actually like one from Walmart called Cranberry Mandarin…it’s good for all seasons. I also like the Yankee Candles Buttercream, but it makes me hungry.

6. If you had to choose between going to a zoo or an aquarium, which one would you pick?

Aquarium. It’s inside, and I love watching all the fish. I don’t like outside. I especially don’t like outside in the summer…there are bugs and it’s too hot and you smell poop all day.

7. How many times do you plan to exercise this week?

That all depends…exercise what? Hehe.

8. Do you speak another language fluently?

No…I took French in high school and college, and I wasn’t bad at it, but my skills are not what they were. I can still sometimes read it. I can also generally pronounce things in French, Spanish, Italian, German, and Latin…thank you, five years of voice lessons and god knows how many years of choir where singing in English was just not what the cool kids did.

9. What are you currently reading?

I recently finished

    Tiny Beautiful Things

, by Cheryl Strayed, which is one of the best books I’ve read in a long time…it’s just stunning, I can’t even explain. It’s part advice column, part memoir. I am also reading the “Ender’s Game” series by Orson Scott Card – I’m currently on “Xenocide.” I liked the first one, the second took me a while to get into but was good once I did, and the third is dragging ass but I’m trying to get through it.

10. What are you looking forward to most in the coming week?

Not much, really. I need to go grocery shopping and do laundry and my insomnia is back with a vengeance. Maybe I’ll go with “once I go grocery shopping I can make more chocolate cake.”

Song of the Day: Jack Johnson – “Flake”
Today’s Time Waster: Sleepy animals. (Not just cats, for all you dog people…)
What I’m Craving: A maid.

Folks Lining up Outside Just to Get Down (FMM)

Greetings and salutations. My weekend was totally uneventful. All I’ve wanted to do the last two weekends is sleep, which is sad. I’m still trying to adjust to working again, I think. I did make some cake. I also learned that saving 50 cents on bacon isn’t worth it because it burns really easily.

Kenlie is back from her hiatus, so it’s time for Friend-Makin’ Monday once more. If you are not familiar with the rules, answer the questions below on your blog, and link back in Kenlie’s comments (and mine). If you are stopping by, hiya! And please leave a comment, because they make me happy. This week’s theme was “How Do You Celebrate?” and it concerned birthdays:

1. When is your birthday?

May 12.

2. Do you like to celebrate it or do you prefer to keep it quiet?

I like to celebrate, but since my birthday is always right around Mother’s Day or someone’s graduation, my festivities usually either get ganked or happen late.

3. Have you ever had a surprise party?

Sort of. See #6. It wasn’t really a full-on party, but it was unexpected and nice. Generally, though, I’m not terribly fond of surprises, especially if they involve some sort of occasion where I will be photographed.

4. What sign are you? Does it represent you well?

I’m a Taurus, and from what I’ve read – we’re into security, stability, nice stuff, and food; and we’re very stubborn and very loyal. So mostly, I’d say yes, it does. DON’T MESS WITH THE BULL BOY, YOU’LL GET THE HORNS.

5. Do you tell the truth about your age?

Yes, so far…I am 39.

6. Share your best birthday memory.

I think my 16th was probably the best – it was on a Saturday, so I couldn’t go get my actual driver’s license that day. There was a play rehearsal/set building workday all day. It was actually a lot of fun…I remember we did a lot of listening to the B-52’s “Cosmic Thing” album. Towards the end of the day, they brought me a birthday cake. I was really surprised…I didn’t think anyone remembered it was my birthday.

7. Share a few item that could be on your birthday wishlist.

My Amazon wishlist can be found here.

8. What is your favorite kind of cake?

Pioneer Woman Chocolate Sheet Cake, hands down. I also like chocolate cake with whipped cream frosting.

9. If you could be anywhere on your next birthday, where would you be?

Amsterdam. That’s probably not going to happen. But, according to my friend who is turning 50 a month before I turn 40 (ugh I hate even typing that), we ARE going to go to Mexico.

10. Do you make a wish when you blow out the candles?

I don’t remember the last time I got actual candles…but yes.

Bonus: Picture of me looking at my first birthday cakes. I’m not sure if my expression indicates “why is it taking you this long to feed me cake” or “this is inadequate.”

1st bday cakes

Song of the Day: Leonard Cohen – “Famous Blue Raincoat”
Today’s Time Waster: I have played this one for a few days…
What I’m Craving: Probably more cake, because I have problems.